So I was roaming the grocery store looking for vegetables and mineral water when I bumped into the cookie aisle. No idea how that happens. And what do my wandering eyes focus on? Well, the good people at Nabisco rolled out ice-cream flavored Chips Ahoy cookies FOR A LIMITED TIME ONLY and I could not help but buy the root beer float edition. Sure they had mint chocolate chip and rocky road but if you make a cookie and link it to soda, I have to try it. And maybe throw it up.
Sorry this is vertical but in my haste to put these in my mouth I needed to stand and snap this. As you can see there are white chocolate chips and normal ones. The batter, however, tastes EXACTLY LIKE ROOT BEER! I am mildly impressed and not because it tastes good but because it tastes so much like root beer. Almost like Jones Soda Green Bean Casserole soda. It’s not good but fuck if it isn’t green bean casserole.
I made the mistake of trying one and closed my eyes. And thought of pink Necco Wafers. Then sad took over my whole body as I hurked and jerked. The following faces represent my feelings. (Biggest to smallest).
Pick some up and eat them now. They will not be around long!
Junior Mints will always be the candy that Kramer accidentally dropped into the open cavity of a body undergoing surgery during an episode of Sinfeld. I have no real ties to them other than that and they seem to be the #3 choice for all movie-goers. Honestly, do people buy Junior Mints outside of the movie theater? I don’t think I have seen anyone walking around eating them in another environment.
Well, regardless if Junior Mints are eaten in a movie theater or over an operating table, the Tootsie Roll Company has painted the deer turd-looking treat a pastel shade of blue and yellow in celebration of Spring and Easter. Whoopie! They have the same texture and minty flavor as the everyday Junior Mint but whether it is psychosomatic or the chemical makeup has changed, they are weird.
To me, I think it is the choice of color. Yes, yellow is the normal Spring color but the blue kind of throws me and I think I know why. That shade of blue and the fact it has a mint taste brings me back to forced visits to my great aunts in Pennsylvania. I hated going there because for whatever reason, I had a fear of old people. And they were old!
I know this sounds like I was a cruel spoiled dick of a kid and maybe so, but sitting on a couch wrapped in plastic as my Mom and Grandmother talked with them about phlegm and bruises that won’t go away just really took a kids appetite and killed it for seven years. From the vaporizers to the electric chairs on stairs, I prayed for these visits to be quick. Also, I hate slippers.
Coming back to the blue mints, my great aunts also had bowls of blue mint candy. From what year, it’s anyones guess but I bet if the mints could talk they would tell you their vote was casted for Dwight Eisenhower. No matter what excuse I made, the aunts would not let me leave unless I had a pocket full of these dreadful pieces of candy. I had to endure this until the Japanese invented the Gameboy. God bless that wonderful country.
So, Pastel Junior Mints taste the same but their ability to unleash suppressed memories is pretty amazing. Congratulations Junior Mints! Now I am thinking of lipstick stained crumpled tissues.
I have been busy working hard so I can keep the power and internet on to bring you idiotic videos and rants. Aren’t you fortunate? Today, I am posting a video about an impromptu excision to South Carolina. I was SUPPOSED to be down in Mobil, Alabama with one of my dear friends, Travis, but thanks to life, I only made it about five hours south instead of the planned ten. Oh well, we made the most of it.
Watch this video and see what a spooky naval ship and a Man vs Food challenge have in common.
Oh yeah, the spicy tuna rolls had the texture of cookie dough with the temperature of your cheek. And the number Ten Roll was so hot it made the back of my skull hurt.
The first post for the new page is especially special. It’s even more especially special when it’s done by Brian over at Review the World dot com. He’s such a great dude and it’s fun times whenever I get to collaborate with him.
Today we take on the Shamrock Shake from McDonald’s that surfaces this time of year and yes, it’s for a limited time only. Let’s what Brian wax poetry over this minty shake and worry everyone who is watching him from a distance. I’ll be adding my own review shortly but for now I want you to watch this awesome video.
Thanks Brian! You are certainly a master of your craft.
AND…. Here is my take of the Shamrock Shake! Sorry it took so long.
I needed to start something on here with a more congruent theme or at least a side project. I know I have “Where Did You Go” but over the years I think just about fifty online news sites have copied and pasted nearly all of it and I get a little tired of doing the work for them. Especially the Huffington Post which is written on a third grade level and use misleading titles to trick people into reading an article about Kanye West in hopes he died by having is wiener caught in a vacuum at the bottom of his pool. So, while I will continue the fun posts about past celebrities, I think I need to develop another page and invite others in the fun.
“For A Limited Time Only” is the page dedicated to shedding light on what’s available for a fleeting moment in our busy bee lives. Maybe it will return next year or maybe it will be a discussion twenty years from now like how Crystal Pepsi tasted like soapy piss but we bought it anyway because Van Halen told us to. Either way, you can find it here.
Alright, one last thing. I want to open this page to awesome readers like you. I am stuck on a pretty strict diet of high protein and low carb in preparation for the 2014 trail race season so I probably won’t try the four patty burger donut with special sauce but if you do, feel free to drop me an email and I’ll post your article right here! I’ll tweet the hell out of it and before you know it, you’ll be on the road to food stardom. You never know.
This idea is something Brian over at Review the World and I have been batting around and I think this is a good time to kick it off. I know if you have been here long enough you have visited his spot and it’s no surprise we collaborate quite often. He’s an awesome guy with a great talent for reviews and videos.
Thanks and tweet me over at Veggiemacabre if you have any suggestions or know of a limited time offer out there that might be fun to write about!
Some time ago I was wandering aimlessly through the frozen food selection of the grocery store and happened upon something curious. It was what I thought to be a box of frozen spaghetti but a closer look revealed it to be chili. Chili topped spaghetti. And cheese. It took me aback just to comprehend such a mix and I immediately tweeted my findings. Then it hit me. Skyline Chili from Cincinnati? Who do I know from that area?
Why it is none other that the famous Brian from Review the World and he happens to be very familiar with Skyline Chili and the numerous different ways it can be served. I learned much and am richer for it. Here are our takes on the chili; me with the frozen selection and Brian with the original fresh. Let’s see what Cincinnati chili is all about!
Sorry my freezer looks like a disaster. There are many packages of lima beans.