This Is No Dream! This Is Really Happening!

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Yes, Mia Farrow, this is really happening. Coming this July, The What The Hell Show goes live and soon you will all be subjected to my mind, wit and poor Final Cut skills. This has been in motion since its conception last August and now we are at the final countdown for launch. So what to expect?

Well, the original shows like Beers With Movie Sauce and Spooky Carolina will still be going on (actually better produced and with more people) but it will be under the umbrella of The What The Hell Show. Expanding from there we will be running a weekly podcast interviewing neat people from freelance writers, actors, fellow webmasters to local rock stars and all around fun people. These will be able to be downloaded free and streamed live. Also you can watch reviews, the normal Halloween Countdown and other random fun videos to spend your work hours watching instead of doing your job. I am here for you.

There are other people (much smarter than me) who are helping to make this program a reality and I cannot thank them enough. Especially since they take beer and food as payment. So, sit back and watch  Will, the responsible one and Bill, the irresponsible one, talk about what is happening.

Also, I just learned how to clone so ignore the difference in lighting. Give this old dude a break.

Buy This Shirt And You Will Be Set Free

It’s no secret that I love the cult classic from the late eighties, The ‘Burbs. A film that poked fun of our quirky suburban lifestyles and those who mow their lawns for the four hundredth time than SNAP! Beautifully shot with all sorts of flaws but perfect in plot involving Satanists, murder and those nosey neighbors who should have just gone to the lake. I swear to the God of Kundar, if they even think of a remake I will burn this town down. It is a blend that can never be duplicated.

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The point of this post is to let you know that right NOW, the amazing people at Fright Rags are pre-selling this amazing shirt which pays homage to the film that can easily make soul mates from strangers by simply sharing quotes like, “Ray, you’re chanting.” This is a beautiful piece of art and I think we all need this hanging on our boobs.

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And! And! And!…It’s only $18.00 for tonight. Sorry for the late notice but you know what to do. This is way too good to pass up. So shut up and paint your Goddamn house and order this shirt because it will bring you a pile of beautiful ladies. Or men. Either or.

Click Art below and in July, you will be the cat’s pajamas. Be sure to follow them on Twitter too.

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Back To Your Regularly Scheduled Programming

I know it sounds lame or lazy to come back over and over again with the excuse of why there hasn’t been much in the way of material for VeggieMacabre lately but no matter what, its true. Work has taken a turn to the extreme with my new position and it’s easy to control your own future but when you take on other people’s future, things get serious quickly. Good leaders inspire, not fire. Lately I have been feeling pretty low for failing others when they have not achieved the minimum requirements for employment in my office. They have failed because I have failed them. That is what my years in the military has taught me. Unfortunately, people above me have never learned those lessons or have been in situations to acquire that skill so I work with what is given to me.

That said, I have really missed what brought me so much joy for so many years. I am not the greatest writer in the world or the most patient of a proof reader, but over these years I have connect, met and become great friends with people through this very odd blog. I have tried different ideas and even platforms but at the end of the day I still comeback to the basics. It’s what works and it is a love.

In order to make anything a priority, you have to invest. Whether that is time or money, the investment makes the hobby as rewarding as it is fun. So I have done it. I have a separate studio now for everything in the works. Not only that but I have reached out and have invited others to become part of the show. These buddies are both local friends to people hundreds of miles away. All are an a key player in something that will be entertaining for all.

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I know what you are thinking, “yeah Will/Bill, we’ve heard this before but then you disappear and then a random post about a shitty taco pops up and then nothing for a month.”

You’re right, I have been threatening long enough. But I am now ready to leap into the unknown with a fully and heavily invested commitment. I hope you like. Now watch this teaser for my long time project, “The What The Hell Show”. I am so excited and man, this will be fun!

 

FLTO: Taco Bell Sriracha Taco

My great pal, Brian from Review The World, shot me a message informing me that Taco Bell has a limited item featuring three burritos with varying level of heat. Now I haven’t been to a Taco Bell since I don’t know when but I have heard when it comes to spicy food, they actually keep the heat real. Also, I use the term “food” loosely. It’s probably healthier to eat a handful of Legos.

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Called the Dare Devil, these are chipotle, habanero and the dreaded ghost pepper burritos and I knew I had to follow-up the ghost pepper fries with this. Unfortunately (or maybe fortunately) these have not made it to North Carolina. So, I had to rely on the lame-o limited time Sriracha taco to review on this rainy Saturday afternoon. I waited almost twenty minutes in the drive thru so I need to get something out of that adventure.

Imagine a regular taco with Sriracha sauce on it. There you go! Good night folks!

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It’s actually a little more interesting than just that. I was on the fence with a taco and an asian spicy sauce because I’ve never gotten why sriracha is such a popular thing. Other than the witty Oatmeal cartoons, it’s always been a ‘meh’ condiment to me. But, surprisingly, it compliments a shitty taco pretty well. Maybe that was the secret to bring Sriracha around for me.

I’ll still keep an eye out for the mysterious ghost pepper Dare Devil Grillers or whatever they are called. They will definitely be reviewed and added to the FLTO section because I need to have gastro-disastro and remember it forever. There are more than a few benefits to having a blog about stupid things.

I need to at least get 300 words and now I almost have. Done!

FLTO: Wendy’s Ghost Pepper Fries

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It’s been a minute since I have added a post to the “For A Limited Time Only” page but when you throw words like “ghost pepper” around, you have my attention. A new addition of pain has been added to the Wendy’s menu and it’s definitely not permanent so I felt it should be immortalized on the site. The Ghost Pepper Fries showed up earlier in the week with much fanfare from those who like to involuntarily burp when saying the word ‘cholesterol’. That’s up my alley.

There have been lots of fast food items of the heat persuasion but few who tout being made from one of the hottest peppers on earth. I know this first hand after I stupidly ate a dried one a few years ago. The only way I can describe the experience would be to imagine a pain so searing, if someone told you that the only way for relief was to eat a urinal cake, you would eat two. So, naturally, when the Ghost Pepper fries came out, I had to try them. Because I am a very sick, sick man.

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Weighing in at 480 calories, 900 milligrams of sodium and 27 grams of fat, it’s safe to say these are not good for you. Made with their cut fries, melted shredded cheddar, a weird ghost pepper neon orange sauce and diced jalapeños complete with seeds, this is a little bowl of indigestion costing you a mere $1.99. They even include a fork just incase you had ghost peppers sauce on your fingers and used the bathroom. The struggle is real when you are a seasoned spicy food consumer.

Immediately when I opened this container up I knew this was not a true ghost pepper product. There is a certain smell that the ghost pepper has and it will choke you hard. You don’t have to eat the ghost pepper to have a bad day with it. These Ghost Pepper fries just didn’t have that punch. I did notice, however, the bright nuclear orange color of the cheese. It’s like drive-in movie theater nacho cheese orange. (Crayola, get on that please) The diced jalapeños seemed to be the only true source of heat. And I was right. Sometimes I hate to be right.

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To be honest, it was not very hot for me. Sure, there were a few bites a jalapeño seed got the better of me but on a scale of one to ten, one being “puree peaches” and ten being “going to the hospital”, I think these fries fall into the three rating. There were a few spicy bites but it’s just not that hot. To me. I need to clarify that because a couple of months ago I damn near killed a coworker when the waiter accidentally switched our Panang Curry order. A five-star spice rating is where I begin so keep that in mind when taking my advice.

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Against my better judgement I finished the whole order for a fair review. Spicy foods can also be rated based on the building level so taking one bite doesn’t give a fair shake to any food with heat. You gotta eat it all. So, for the next couple hours no jumping rope or wresting in a bounce house. Safety first.

To pair with the Ghost Pepper Fries, Wendy’s also has a Jalapeño Chicken Sandwich for a limited time only. I am sorry to report but this old guy can’t do both. I rarely eat fast food and if I was to jump two feet into a full meal at Wendy’s with nacho cheese sauce I think something extreme would happen. And not like a radical extreme. The different extreme.

So, there you are. The fries are not terrible but a little misleading. When you say jalapeño people say “huh? Wha?” but when you say Ghost Pepper… well, you’ll get my attention. This was not ghost pepper. In fact, this was not even close to habanero. But that’s okay because killing an innocent seventy year old lady who wanted cheese fries but was clueless to what a ghost pepper is probably wouldn’t be how Wendy’s wants to go out. I get it. Not everyone has a ruined palate like me.

Try them and let me know how you fare. Feel better about your fries and order a salad too. Wendy’s has their shit straight when it comes to salads. Have a great Sunday night!

Wendy, I’m Home

I have been on a bit of a hiatus thanks to my career. Honestly, if I become anymore boring I would take this day and go antiquing.

Holy shit, that’s exactly what I am doing today.

Anyway, this is the dawn of the new VeggieMacabre. It’s been a long time in the making because I am involving other people. Some you know and others you may not. But you will! We have lots of on-location shows, product reviews, horror fun and many, many chances to see me make a fool of myself.

Next week is Mad Monster Party in Charlotte and “The What The Hell Show” begins. This has been a project of mine since October and I am so excited to share it with you. I can’t explain it, you will just have to see it. Until then I’ll have my pal, Weird Paul play me out.

What’s In The Box?!

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I think we are going on seven months of nostalgia-rich Fun Packs from the amazing site, DinosaurDracula.com. If you are unaware of what Fun Packs are, let me explain. Imagine little trinkets from the obscure depths of the 80’s and 90’s which, if unprepared, can magically transport you back to the sixth grade. But that’s only if your old like me. That’s how math works!

This month we are in for a treat! Every Fun Pack has something special but this month really hit a home run. I’ll tease you with words like, “Turtle Pies” and “Boglins”to intrigue you. Did it work? If so, for only $25 a month you too can be a recipient of these Fun Packs and have smiling memories of your awkward youth.

So, if you have time (which if you’re in North Carolina you do thanks to three inches of ice) check out my nine minute video unboxing the great Dinosaur Dracula Fun Pack for this depressing month of February.

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