Lando Calrissian Disguise Kit: Smoooooth

It isn’t very often that I have buyers remorse on eBaby and this time is no exception. While strolling the virtual aisle of eBay in the “nerd” section I stumbled across and item that I could not say no to. Actually, I am shocked anyone could say no to this. May I present to you…

…the Lando Calrissian Disguise Kit. Holy cow!

I know that this is just a novelty item but it’s nice to see LucasFilm Ltd has a bit of a sense of humor. Now if only they had official Star Wars Colt 45 12 packs for sale. Now that would be more of a VeggieMacabre-type item for review. Until they do that, you’ll have to just watch this.  Enjoy!

 

 

Cataclysmic Colossus Of Clout!

I don’t think that means anything but it’s my new “boy wonder” exclamation. I say it when you will least expect it so stay on your toes. So today I am going to give you a “catch up shot” or ‘ketchup shot” if you prefer. You’re gross.

  • Changing the VM header so I have been playing with images and old photos when Wicket and I locked eyes. My God, he has dead eyes. No soul. I still believe that Ewoks must have smelled like 20 year old moldy shag carpet. Those matted hairy butt bears.
  • The VSA went out on my Element the other day. My friend was with me when the warning light came on and I asked her what she thought it meant. She said it was my car telling me to “fix the Vehicle Shit, Asshole”.  To which I left her at the bus stop.
  • Went to see Megadeth on Monday. Amazing. Probably one of the better shows that I have seen in the past few years and I really went all out. I moshed, spit beer, think I broke my jaw, sang every song, got a nod from Dave Mustaine as I crowd surfed in my work clothes. But I was upstaged by a guy crowd surfing in a wheelchair. What a dick.

  • It has been so mild this winter I can not believe it. It has actually snowed more in Atlanta than it has here in the Northwest. Not that I am complaining but it is such my luck that I move on a mountain the year Idaho has the worst winter and to a low altitude plain during it’s mildest. Karma! Fuck you! Wait. I take that back. Nice karma.
  • I have been consistent in my weight lifting over the past couple of months and I have almost regained everything I lost this past year. That scares me because lifting 250 this quickly means an injury is just around the corner. But I am too obsessive to stop. Maybe when I can flex out of a shirt I will stop.
  • Last night I made pork chops and cataclysmic colossus of clout. Told ya to stay on your toes! Just when you least expect it.

  • I can’t stay silent anymore. I will never again sit back and act passive when someone wants to watch The Kardashians, Brothers And Sisters, that show after Entertainment Tonight and any other show in that category. They are so stupid and idiotic. That’s right I said it. I know why people hate Americans and it is because we watch insane shit like this. Who can actually be taken seriously when you decide to give up an hour, a minute, a second that you can never have back again watching spoiled and shallow people have life altering problems like throwing a party and not finding the DJ they want or talking gossip about people they don’t even know. F that.
  • Broke my second iPhone right after I spent $40 on a “protective” case. You are welcome Steve Jobs.
  • I am beginning to think that honesty is over rated. I was in a neuroscience class today and my professor has been on a workout kick involving only jumproping. He came in class today and said that he has been sluggish from being under the weather and hasn’t been jumproping. He claimed that jumproping with diarrhea was not the best idea he has had. Wouldn’t you know it, I was the only one to laugh. What am I, five? To make it worse, he asked if I was okay. I told him not really.
  • I have a park across the street from my apartment and occasionally I will take a stroll or walk to the university the long way just to enjoy it. Last week there was a tennis ball left by one of the random dogs that play there. Without thinking, I picked it up and aimlessly threw it without looking…right at two joggers that were jogging towards me. It was more than just awkward. Actually, I don’t want to talk about that anymore. I am the worst person.
  • Saw Phantasm for the first time. I loved everything about it. Kind of wish I had someone who enjoys campy horror as much as I do to have seen it with.
  • Going to Vegas, San Diego and LA for business and I am happy about that. Hopefully it will be filled with cool people and fun times but I have a feeling it will be filled with meetings and takeout. Wish I had an R2D2 unit to give my sales spew in hologram form. ‘Buy from us, Teledyne, Inc. You are our only hope.”
  • That’s it. You are caught up.

Where Did You Go? Part 9

I have really been slacking on these, haven’t I? Oh well. It’s not like hundreds of people are waiting on an update or anything. Besides, I think if I added to the ‘where did you go’ page every month I may run out of people. Then I’ll have to start getting personal, calling out old elementary school chums like Danny P. who shit himself while playing the game “Red Light Green Light”. Makes you wonder how he turned out?

images1Lar Park Lincoln (Laurie Jill Park) is one of those actresses that everyone recognizes but few can put their finger on where they know her from. But not me! She was the hottest actress in the late 80’s and even though I thought her name was Ms. Hottie McHot Boobs, her career really flourished as a serious actress. Especially in the big budget but campy horror flicks like House II and Friday the 13th VII. You know that those type of movies impress me.

Lar also had a very busy TV career as well to include her long time role on Knots Landing, Tour of Duty, Hunter, Outlaws, Freddy’s Nightmares and of course…Murder She Wrote. I swear that every actor of the 80’s had to appear in an episode of Murder, She Wrote.  In fact, I’m going to temporarily post a new page, just to prove my point.

Lar is still working hard on the Hollywood front in acting, directing and as an author. Sadly, she is currently in a battle with breast cancer so I am sending her good vibes VeggeiMacabre style by burning a picture of what I think cancer looks like.

001155_3Aubree Miller? Who is Aubree Miller? Well, if you where a crack level Star Wars addict kid like I was then you are quite aware of who Ms. Miller is. She played Cindel, the daughter of Mr. and Mrs. Towani in the made for TV movie The Ewok Adventure (1984) and The Battle For Endor (1985). I can remember going out of my mind when finding out there was an extension to the Star Wars saga that I could watch from the comforts of the couch, snuggling with a Hasbro X-Wing and eating 3PO cereal.

To be honest, I haven’t seen these episodes in 20 plus years so I can’t tell you much about them other than what is on IMDB. I can, however, say that  Wilford Brimley has a staring role in the second one and that by default makes it worth watching. But poor Aubree’s career never branched from Endor. Her only time in the lime light was the two Ewok mini-movies and you know what? That’s okay. It’s better to burn out than fade away, Aubree. Currently she is making Comic Con like appearances and living a normal life in Chico, Cali. Here she is today and sadly, I’m a year older than her. Goddamn it.

eric-dan-aubree-nhu-2005I can’t figure out who the two on the right are. I’m going out on a limb and say fans.

marilynmanson-gal-mythsYou know this was a long time coming. It’s Josh Saviano who played Paul Pfeifer from one of the greatest suburbia melodramas set in the late 60’s, The Wonder Years. I always had a connection with Paul. Perhaps it was the asthma/allergy open mouth breathing Paul always seemed to be doing. I was the sickly kid in school that was forced to buy apple juice in the milk line you know.

2006_3_paulpfieffer1

Well, unfortunately Josh didn’t grow up to be Marilyn Manson like I believed up until a year ago. Now I am completely confused by the lyrics in the song, “Dope Show”. I imagined it to be the episode when Kevin and Paul learned about the female reproductive system in gym. I am rambling again. Anyway, Josh is an attorney now in NYC after attending Yale. Although he didn’t act after The Wonder Years, which was 99% of his Hollywood career, Milhouse on the Simpson’s was based off his character and he was on Reading Rainbow. Both pretty amazing, I must say.

8486273_111126054158I ask people all the time if they can name Bobcat Goldthwiat’s brother in the film, One Crazy Summer. So far, no one. But I can. And the only reason for that is, is for the longest time I thought they cast someone opposite of Bobcat’s character who detracted from his struggling vocal chords and twitchy movements. They needed someone who was…well…slightly “touched” or what they call  here in northern Idaho, a “slow-roller”. I really did think that Tom Villard, pictured above, was retarded. But nope! He wasn’t.

Tom was best known from his role in the 1980’s drama,” We’ve Got It Made” but he will always be known to me as Egg Stoke’s brother in the classic, One Crazy Summer. Once you are in an older John Cusack movie, you’ve pretty much made it in my eyes.

I tried finding a current picture of Tom but it turns out he’s dead. I hate finding things out this way. Unfortunately he succumbed to complications from the AID’s virus in 1994 and left us way too early. Sorry I thought you were retarded Tom. :(

If you want to subject yourself to more, I have a page at the top with 1 through 8.

Just Not The Same

Is it just me or does getting older really ruin all the little things in life. For example, a good friend corrected me when I used the term “conniption fit.” For the longest time I thought it was “connip-shit” and I have been using that for as long as I remember. It’s embarrassing to admit but that’s the truth. So it prompted a hard look at somethings that just aren’t the same anymore.

Ewoks suck. For the longest time I regarded Return Of The Jedi as the greatest Star Wars movie of them all. Now that I look back i just see it as one giant toy revenue stream, which was fine when I was 7 but now I feel a little bored with it. Much like finding out your are really a conservative when you give into corporate America, I require more in a movie than “I’ve got a bad feeling about this” and latex muppets. I consider myself an Empire Strikes Back fan now. Plus, thanks to a picture at Social Pariah, it just dawned on me that Wicket was really the downs syndrome Ewok that tends to wander through Endor. I imagine he lives in the lowest hut at the Ewok Village. He also looks like a smelly. “Yub-Yub”.

Hotels suck. The thrill is gone when it comes to travel. I think I realized this on a trip a few months ago when I was spoiled by a five star room and the next week I stayed at a Holiday Inn Express. That drastic change turned me into a snob. Everything about the room annoyed me from the TV only having 20 channels to the air conditioning being too loud. I remember a time when I would drink at the lounge, meet new people, order room service, even go to the pool. Now, I work in bed, read a book and complain in the morning that my back is stiff. I even bring my own pillow case for fear of getting some face disease. What a shit I am.

I will never ride on this. When I was growing up we used to South Jersey for the summer and the days were all the same. During the day we would be at the shore and at night we would ride the rides. It must have been a thrill for my poor folks but I lived for it. Today when I see a fair, all I can think about is the amount of insurance that goes into portable roller coasters. Beside the fact that just looking at them makes my equilibrium off balance I am absolutely positive that I will not be killed on the “Scrambler”. I can see the local news story now. “Local man flung off the Scrambler in a bucket seat. Witnesses said he was making squealing sounds before he landed in the donkey ride. He did not survive.”

Buffets are ruined. I have a hard time eating at Chinese or even American buffets and I think it is because I just think about it too hard. My imagination takes the best of me and all I imagine is sneezey people, grubby kid fingers and flies. I am the jerk that orders off the menu when everyone one else is elbow deep in Lo Mein. However, I do miss eating Kung Pao chicken and corn dogs at the same time.

The excitement of the theater. I actually do miss going to the movies but I just cant find the time to spend two hours anywhere for recreation. The last film I saw was Cloverfield and it was reminiscent of the old movie experience but lately I don’t have the desire. I blame friends that i used to hang out with for that. They were the couple that dressed like the characters of the film. For the life of me I couldn’t understand why people dress up for the opening of a film. As you could imagine I was pretty embarrassed when the last Star Wars movie opened up.

I am sure there plenty of other items in life that I have grown to see differently. It’s hard to think of them right off the top of my head but be sure, I’ll let you know. That reminds me, up until today I have used the term “to no extent”. It is “to some extent” and “to no end”. It’s good that I figured that out at 30.

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