Fall Is For Cookies And Coffee And That’s Good Enough For Me

I don’t know where you live but here, Fall has arrived in a fantastic fashion. In what feels like an overnight assault, the trees are bright red and orange, the air is cool and dry and little pumpkin patches are springing up all over, each vying for the most sincere. Over the weekend I wasted no time drinking enough cider to safely say I ingested a bushel and watched Halloween 4 at least four times. Needless to say, we are in the season when you freeze in the morning and have a heat stroke by noon. I love it.

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Besides the great weather and horror movies airing on primetime, lets not leave out festive cookies. I am not one to eat a lot of sugar so rarely do I indulge in cookies but this time of the year, how could I not? The entire Nestle Toll House package is a thick sheet of glorious dough, filled with orange and brown chocolate chips. I can’t help but bite at the package leaving teeth marks up and down the dough. It’s a weight x girth/cube size equation for me. If all numbers align, I bite.

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Perfect little squares are a weakness of mine. It makes me want to peel these apart and build the talking prism from the show Out Of This World. There is nothing that you cannot do with building blocks of cookie dough if you can get past the salmonella. That’s the only show stopper for me. I know millions eat raw cookie every hour but the chances are still not in my favor when Lady Luck has anything to do with me, numbered odds and a toilet. I will bake these cookies and scrub my hands as if I am engaging in exploratory surgery.

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While those magnificent cubes are baking let me wax poetry to you about Fall coffee that is NOT pumpkin flavor. Don’t get me wrong, I love pumpkin flavoring this time of the year but it’s nice to see a contender who brings it with straight beans. The monopoly of Starbucks has come out with a “cozy” blend for the nice price of $12 a bag. And by nice I mean stupid. But it’s not the price or the obvious repackaging of Springtime blends in a Fall bag but when you say the word “cozy” on a coffee bag, it is coming home with me.

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Back to the cookies! Well, after a few minutes at 350•, we have Halloween cookies which are no where near as impressive as the cookie on the package. But after all these years writing on the same topic, you would think I would know this by now. Or at least not frown when I stare at two limp-dick cookies. I mean, look at my dog’s face! You wouldn’t know it but he has a pretty refined palate, aside from chewing his butt.

And the coffee?

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They were right. Completely cozy and perfect for early Autumn mornings by the fire. Especially when you grill bacon and sausages in beer. Life could be worse, my friends. Life could be worse.

Also, I built a bar. Sorry about the eyesore trashcan in the frame.

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I know this post was weak but I have a few including a video tonight staring guests you very well may know! I am showing my love for some of the most fantastic TV horror as well as ramping up the Halloween Spook Show with prizes and discussions! Be afraid, it all starts tonight!

Ode To The Fall Fresh Market

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Lordy, I love The Fresh Market! It’s a place where normal people like yours truly can feel a tad sophisticated buying six cucumber sodas and a bag of cinnamon bears. Its warm and cozy with classical music playing overhead, lulling people into paying twenty percent higher for everyday items. Some say it is a snobby market and others brush it off as a specialty food shop, but I say it is a necessary Saturday morning stop to energize the soul and dent my wallet, especially now that we are a foot into the Halloween season.

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This is the place where you plan the best autumn dinner of your life. Every vegetable imaginable is available and if yours is like mine, they come from local farms. That is a huge thing for me. I can’t put my finger on it, whether it is the track lighting or the fact most produce and items are in barrels but you kind of skip around aimlessly in this market. It is a scientific fact most amazing things come in a barrel. And for that, I am sure almost no one sticks to their lists. At least I don’t. I went in one time for three steaks and left with clams.

Hmm, maybe it is a gas leak that is the cause of such aimless shopping?

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The free coffee station is one of the best parts of The Fresh Market. Every season they have a select coffee to try with a full station to garnish your tiny cup. I was excited to see what Fall coffee they were pushing for this year but it never fails that some old bitty would be crowding the coffee sample table, adding cream and sugar with the speed and purpose of an aquarium-ed manatee. I hate her!

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Back to the wacky produce! Tell me, where can you get dwarf squash these days? Think real hard. I don’t know where but at The Fresh Market, this time of the year, you can. It is the main ingredient for my “Little Squash Big People Soup”. If you want the recipe just email me. It is just right for rainy and cold October days paired with the right beer. And yes, I do feel a little bad for that insensitive parody of the midget show. I meant little people show.

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SON OF A BITCH SHIT! I turn around for two seconds and the old guy jumps in and proceeds to go all Cialis on the decaf. Dude is quick in them Foot Joys!

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Here we come to what The Fresh Market does so well and that is the Halloween display. Every year is a bit different but damn if it isn’t always impressive! They always have a crazy candy display throughout the year but they really turn the knob to high in September. I love the fact an entire three-foot wicker basket is filled with one pound bags of gummy ghosts. If that were to fall off the roof and kill someone, their obituary would be clipped and permanently added to my fridge. It’s a place of honor.

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I know this picture is a tad bit blurry but I had been looked at with some suspicion while I roamed around taking pictures of small squashes and old people. This one was taken with great haste.

I love the decor. It is such a throwback to when I was a little kid. Ghosts and pumpkin-headed scarecrows are hung from the rafters with orange and black streamers dangling, carelessly blowing with the central air. It is simple yet perfectly nails why I love this holiday so much. There is no hint of modern pop or Disney shows. Just the same decorations we loved for years and years.

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Holy shit nuts and gum! I can’t catch a break this trip!

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I know this isn’t very Halloweenie but I can’t go to sleep without yelling from the hills about how amazing their organic nut selection is. Every kind of nut, berry, mix and seed is available for you to buy AND sample. I can’t tell you how many bags of trail mix I have, which are most likely stale, in my cupboard. There is no helping help myself and it is not beyond reason that I buy over one hundred dollars in almonds a month. Don’t get me started on cashews.

Also, I am not entirely sure about the sample part. If someone stops me I’ll just do my best impression of the homeless demon eating crickets in Hellraiser.

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We have success! Even though I like to browse the aisles for the best Thai peanut sauce and vegan friendly pasta while drinking  a free shot-cup of seasonal coffee, beggars can not be choosers. It is an added pleasure to an already fun fall grocery shopping experience.

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Of course it is pumpkin spice! How could it not be?

I am telling you folks, go to The Fresh Market if you want to immerse yourself with autumn goodness. The smells, specials, free samples and specialty food items are enough to make you go home and get drunk on spiked cider while hanging skeletons from trees. It is that great of an experience for this time of the year. Sure you will spend five dollars on a box of Triscuits but that’s why you save that for lame-o Kroger. You buy cornish hens and seven-year old sharp cheddar from The Fresh Market, ya silly!

 

 

Fall Beer Review 2013: Part 1

Holy heck, I have been doing the Fall beer reviews since August of 2007! It all started at a Kroger grocery store in Augusta, Georgia when I stumbled on a JW Dundee craft pack that inspired a nostalgic trip that I shared on a very young VeggieMacabre. It also led to Pepp-o-lanetern. From then on I have made the annual tradition of Fall beer reviewing for my pleasure and the few who care about the a.b.v. percentage in a beverage with dead leaves on the bottle.

This year will be a real banner year for the site because the Halloween countdown is around the corner and I have no less than six fall craft packs to yap about. There are more but I have committed to six.  Since the Halloween countdown will overlap the Fall Beer Review, expect to see some spooky shenanigans. 

Starting out on the right foot, Magic Hat Brewing Company out of S. Burlington, Vermont, has hit another home run and managed to mix autumn brand beers with straight-up Halloween glory in their “Night of the Living Dead” variety pack featuring two new beers; the Seance and Deveiled. I won’t spoil the video review but please check out their site too. It’s to disembowel for. 

Soon…

The New Fall Beer Review Update

I was thinking the other day that it seems there are a lot more seasonal beers than I remember from years past. Not being the know-it-all about brews like some others, I went to a local friend who is a professional brewer and he confirmed that there actually are more Fall beers and this trend has doubled over the past three years. When I first started the Fall beer review five years ago, I had no idea that there were a specific season for these types of beers. All I wanted to do was drink beer, wax nostalgic verbiage and carve a pepper. Since then I have had tons of emails, beer reps asking to review other beers, some pretty awesome t-shirts and stickers given to me and gained a lot of knowledge about my favorite beverage. All in all, this has been a fun topic to cover over the years. Now that I have reviewed my first seasonal pack, Blue Moon, I have seven more beers to cover.  Time to stop operate heavy machinery and check to make sure I am not pregnant because there is going to be some drinkin’ happening up in here.

Outside the local Co-Op this foreboding character is perched with a sign stating “Tard a Skarin'” and I couldn’t be happier to see it. I love homemade scarecrows and small town Halloween decor. I don’t know why but I think it is the sincerity that wins me over. Anyway, this was just half of what put a smile on my face. Behold the amazing!

Son of a bitch look at all this Fall beer! I know that there is no way to accurately review all these so it is a bit of a Sophie’s choice to determine which ones to buy. I think I will go with the ol’ standard and choose by appearance. Let’s take a look at the winners of this years review.

Ladies and gentlemen, let me introduce you to the lineup of this year’s review. I am sure these are familiar to some of you but I tried to also include a couple local breweries from North Carolina. This will be fun and I think I will do one or two a night just to keep it accurate. Last time I did a full review with more than three beers my self-check system told me I was no longer a fair judge. It’s a pretty safe system too.

If you are not familiar with this game, it is on every table at a Cracker Barrel restaurant. If you are unfamiliar with Cracker Barrel, I will save that for another blog because it needs to be discussed. Anyway, the point of  the game is to leap frog the pegs taking the “leaped” one out and at the end you should be left with one. If you have more than two left, the game says you are an egnoramoose. I have already tested each one of the beers set for review and my new test system told me I may not be a fair judge anymore.

Aw hell.

Expect the first two beers by the stroke of midnight.

Back to VeggieMacabre.tv!

 

OH!…

…SHIT!!!!

So you know that race I ran a few weeks ago where I was trying to run 100 miles? Yeah…they miscalculated the exchange and we ran 83.4 miles instead. That means I damaged my body for little more than a “guess what I did” story that if I did tell people, they would certainly believe I am an idiot for such an endeavour. No 100 miles to log for future registered races or medals to hang in the office. Nope, just a beaten body and sparse memory of the journey itself. But…

I’M OKAY!!!

There will be other races and other chances. Thanks for all the well-wishes. Love you all!

The next beer vlog will be up in a couple of days. Get prepped for some awesome possums!

Autumn Is Creeping

I can not believe that Fall is coming so soon. Next Tuesday is September the first and the death rattle of summer has already begun here in the Northwest. Before I know it all the trees will be bare and my flops will be flipped for boots. But we ain’t there yet. I am going to make a promise this year. I am going to enjoy this Autumn and embrace the coming holidays, unlike my last couple of years. This time I am really going to do it right because I love this season. You know it’s magic when it’s magical and that my friends, is a statement to live by.

The List

  1. Annual Fall beer review (haven’t decided which one yet. Suggestions?)
  2. Probably a puppetry art blog with more candy
  3. Going to bake something. (send recipies)
  4. Octoberfest review in Levenworth, WA
  5. The half Marathon in Levenworth (See Macabre Fitness for that one)
  6. Tribute to Halloween 3
  7. VHS Horror Night (brought to you by the local VHS rental store)
  8. Annual carving of something
  9. Jones Soda review
  10. Memories of Holiday-past blog (for sure)
I always cheat my way out. Corn should have had thorns.

I always cheat my way out. Corn should have had thorns.

 I will be adding to this list but I think I can at least come through on these. I have a new and much larger place with a neat little office to work from so my creativity has no excuse to go tits-up like I have been doing these past months. I find writing has been all about atmosphere as of late and now that I can look at my Tom Atkin’s picture for creative inspiration, I know that good things are to come.

I have finally finished my “Where did You Go?” post but before I post I want to check some conflicting facts. A while ago I recieved an email from a star (?) with a correction. I am not sure if it is legit but regardless, I want to be truthful and not hurt anyones feelings.

 

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