The Last Post

Well, it has come to that time when the final curtain call has been, well, called. VeggieMacabre has been a blast but the winds are blowing me in another direction. One that is similar but different and will build on what I want in the future. Don’t be  sad because it’s over here but be happy because it is now THE CASSEROLE OF DISASTER!!!

That’s right folks, I have moved to a new home with better special effects and more fun. I loved where VM has taken me but now it is time to move the party. Come see us there, we’ve been expecting you.

(click the image below to be whisked away!)

Screen Shot 2016-05-21 at 3.35.07 PM

Shakesburger In Love: The Angriest Whopper

Screen Shot 2016-04-05 at 6.42.30 PM

“Uneasy lies the head that wears the crown. The Burger King Crown.”-Shakespeare (Henry IV: Bill and Ted’s Midlife Crisis)

Burger King has done it again! I know I am a little late to the party and other sites which aren’t in a zombie state like mine have already covered this week-old pop culture phenom, but it wouldn’t be me if I didn’t throw my hat into the ring of fire. And that fire is the new and limited time only, Burger King’s Angriest Whopper.

During last years Halloween season, Burger King shocked the community of Satanists and Halloween lovers with a black bun-ed, horror burger called the Halloween Burger. It had an A-1 steak sauce infused black bun and made the season 1000x more special because horror can be translated into bat shaped Reese’s cups pretty easily but burgers? That, my friends, is something amazing. Too bad it made people shit green.

Screen Shot 2016-04-05 at 6.23.34 PM

But beware of the ides of March, dear readers, because on the last day of that month, Burger King gave us a new weird Whopper and this time it’s pissed off, so look busy! The Angriest Whopper is brilliant red from the hot sauce infused in the bun. It has fried and pickled jalapenos accompanied by some weird spicy yet sweet mustard sauce along with bacon because even if it really sucked, bacon is the extra credit so save the moron. Nothing has ever completely failed with bacon on it.

Screen Shot 2016-04-05 at 6.23.50 PM

When I review these weird limited-time-only items from fast food restaurants it is rare that I will eat the whole thing. As a guy in his mid…late thirties who hurt his back sneezing last week, eating a 900 calorie burger is just not in the cards. But, for preservation sake, I will eat half. 450 calories can happen at Starbucks if you don’t pay attention.

I must say, for a fast food burger it is not too bad and *gasp* a little on the spicy side! I know the hot sauce infused bun should add to the spice but I really couldn’t pull that away from the sauce and the jalepenos  because the overall construction was pretty damn complimentary to one another! It really seems less of a fast food burger but more of a dine-in chain restaurant burger and that is like the golden prize to fast food joints. I don’t know what is going on in the Burger King lab but I have a feeling it is involving the revitalized head of Andy Worhol and Walt Disney.

Screen Shot 2016-04-05 at 6.24.03 PM

So, while I crawled out of the grave to review this Angry Whopper, I feel it deserves a pretty good grade. I will give it an B+. The only reason I am giving it a B instead of an A is because it had a typical fast food presentation and it reminds me of the time my lunch was smashed and leaked juice all over other kids back packs on a field trip and the teacher made a huge deal about it. Every time I see a smashed sandwich I think of Mrs. Tanner’s smoker’s pucker and lipstick covered coffee mug. So, sorry Angriest Whopper. It’s not you, it’s me.

paul

Well folks, parting is such sweet sorrow so it is back to the coffin with me on VeggieMacabre. If you still want to follow my antics and read/watch about silly stuff, checkout the Tumblr site, VeggieMacabreTV until I make a new and better place.

Thanks for reading!

It’s Like An Econo Lodge

Wally-World-Moose-Punch

Howdy folks! Sorrrry, the park is closed for service and repairs.

BUT!!! You can swing over to my little site that is for smaller posts, blurbs, and quick notes about old food and generic sodas! Consider it like one of those hotels a company puts you up in when you are relocating or the ones the insurance puts you in when you burn down the house trying to heat too many Digiorno pizzas at once. You know, like an Econo Lodge or something.

Click the picture and get whisked away to the Land of Dumb! It’s just a silly Tumblr site but still, it is something. The real site will be back and bigger than ever real soon. It just needs some repairs and new wallpaper. Perhaps a bigger deck and the gutters replaced.

Screen Shot 2014-09-08 at 10.55.37 PM

Where Do You Want This?

Have you ever heard the term, “..like twins in a house of mirrors”? No? Well, that makes sense because it was in this amazing movie I saw over the weekend with my buddies, Bo and Brockton, called Raw Nerve. Long story made short, it is about a serial killer who is nicknamed the “Face Killer” because he shoots his victims in the face. The protagonist has a weird telepathic connection to the murderer and a stranger connection his sister. The kind of “ewww” connection you hope to not see in a 80’s movie shot on a limited budget in L.A.

I just wanted to let you know how awesome Raw Nerve is and if you have the means to acquire it, please do so. And not the Mario Van Peebles car of crap. This one is only on VHS. Also, Tex Cobb is in it and you get to see him run which is similar to watching someone run after being trapped on a Tilt-A-Whirl.

It’s been pretty crazy over here in VeggieMacabre Land. I hired an executive coach for the next six months to help propel me out and away from the ties that bind here in corporate life. So far it’s been pretty great but holy cats it is a lot of work! I have never written so many self-reflective papers in my whole life, and the required reading is reminiscent of taking a lit. class in college. I will say the gains will be worth it in the end because acknowledging there are people who know a whole hell of a lot more than you and want to help is a great thing to finally grasp. You cannot get better until you give up a little control and let those who know steer the car.

This is where I wanted to be in this post. God I love writing about weird, strange stuff and shooting idiotic reviews and travels here. But the thing that drives me absolutely nuts is I only put about 35% effort into it. That is completely uncharacteristic of me at this stage of my life. Anything I touch, I try to do to full completion with extra stars and explosions just to let people know I care that it is from me. It absolutely kills me when I commit to a program or show and it dies as soon as it takes off because not all the right pieces are together or uploading it to FinalCut takes three hours when it only took thirty minutes to shoot. The frustration and non-completion factor for this hobby has turned it into something it should have never been and there are real stresses in life that take precedent over a blog only a very few read anyway.

I am not sure which road to travel? Should I keep this place only for the Halloween season and tease it up as we draw closer? Should I resurrect the Tumblr site of this blog and just do short little posts and keep the videos there? Should I just scrap it all and keep it as a Twitter thing? These all seem less than exciting but it has to be something that I can commit to and still have that fun excitement I knew years ago when I would randomly decide to go to a shitty renaissance festival for the pure reason to write about it and share it to the word that I found the most horrible medieval hot cider in all the land.

I am by no means throwing in the towel and saying see ya, because that would be no fun and the point is FUN. I just see the same old site from 2007 and life, times, and ME are so much different now. I go back to that Billy in 2007 and wave my arms up and down and say, “spell check, my boy! Grammar!!!”. I also say, ” I really don’t know that guy, anymore”. These are both happy and sad because in almost a decade of writing this VeggieMacabre tale, it has been brutally honest and sometimes that is tough to go back and see.

Today! Today I have decided to change the format in some facet. Much will be the same and much will be different. Social media has killed the bloggers for the most part so I won’t go down like that but I need to find a way that is both attractive and professional to the senses so people want to hang around. It’s tough being 38 years old and driving around a whole day because you heard there were Twizzlers that look like Easter grass and still want to attract the same people who share your interest in international politics. I guess that is what VeggieMacabre was all along; the no rhyme or reason site.

So stay tuned. I don’t believe I will blow up this place like an old Vegas casino but the platform will most definitely be different. Maybe it will be all videos, maybe it will be just the same but with giraffes in the background? Either way, I am dedicated to making this as much fun for you as it will be for me. I can tell you, this spot is moving. My book cover is needing a new brown paper bag. The Twisted Sister emblem is not as cool as it once was.

Thank you for reading all my babble and embarrassing videos on here, by the way. I have met so many amazing people thanks to VeggieMacabre. It is really unbelievable when you think about it. I would have never met some of the most fantastic people in the world had I not made the decision one summer night in Augusta, Georgia almost a decade ago. Truly amazing. Thank you.

 

 

Hold My Spot

I have important stuff to talk about so hold this place. I’ll be back later tonight.

Oh, and by “important stuff” I mean my gripes on what ever I missed when I was out of the country in the Army. Remember, social media wasn’t a thing back then because I am as old as water. Galactic Crunch is one of them.

capt

When the heck did this come out? Is this real life? He went to space? So many questions!

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 1,336 other followers