Things I Can Live Without


I consider myself an easy going guy but lately I have found myself being verbally caustic about really petty things. Am I getting older? Is this the point of my life where I turn into the character from Falling Down? I can’t tell you how many times I yell at the TV and bitch to those who could care less so instead I will blog and keep it for those who choose to read about it. In no particular order, these are the things in life that rub me the wrong way. This is my therapeutic way of coping.

First on the list is the Gotti hair-do. Living for a while in south Florida I have met many of these pricks and I hate them all. I swear I have never met a genuine person that looks like this. I know this is a generalization and I should not do that but come on. If you spend four hours on your hair, have no opinion about world issues, care only about your trust fund, fake and bake, degrade women and drink apple martinis because you like the color that is fine. But if you are a dickhead that is when I draw the line. You can’t look like a douche and actually be one too! That is cause for natural selection. Now if someone is reading this and looks like this and are cool, I am sorry. Seriously, I want to meet you. The 10 out of 10 I know are fucksticks and that is all I need to sum up a conclusion.

I have been completely desensitized to any sort of alerts. One of the most dooming alerts usually comes from Foxnews. I remember a time when an alert would come over the news and everyone would stop and pay attention. Now there is an alert for Paris Hilton, Linsay Lohan, cats in a tree, the fact that it is hot in august, milk comes from cows and the fucking sky is blue. I wonder what they will do to get our attention when there is news? They really can’t do anything short of stripping down and doing the “Twist.”

When did lawyers become the voice of morality in America? The last time I checked, lawyers make a living off the tragedy of others. My skin literally crawls listening to a panel of prosecutors and defense lawyers talk about the horrors of society while raking in millions from fees and reveling in their celebrity status. (sigh) They completely disregard the “innocent until proven guilty.”

I’m going to take a break because it sounds like I’m bitching and that’s no fun to read. I’ll be back with more but with a smile.

Back with a smile! Sorry to put on a negative tone. I don’t hate people for their haircuts. If you want to shave off your sideburns and gel your hair so you look like a porcupine riding on the wing of a jet, that is your choice. My girlfriend is Italian and I am sure that someone in her family has the Gotti hair. So I am stating officially, I don’t judge character on hair. There.

I really miss the day when McDonalds could advertise puppet McNuggets and Fry Guys without the fear that the ACLU will bring lawsuits because parents have to shop at the Big and Fat store for their five year old. McDonalds was never designed to eat at more than once a week at best. Parents who feed their kids Happy Meals seven days a week are responsible for Ronald McDonald doing push ups and skipping rope rather than hocking Boo Pails and hanging with Grimas. Do they really think commercials with Ronald entering in the NY marathon will mean that McDonalds will grill mcnuggets and bake fries? If they do, they are McStupid.

As for the picture above, obviously they watched Super Size Me. If anyone eats McD’s for 90 days they should be dead from natural selection. Obviously the subtitles were not translated correctly. But “Zbog Hamurgera” just sounds awesome. I hope that means “yummy burger,” because that is what I am saying from now on.

McDonalds smrt! hehehehe

7 Comments

  1. Asians used to have that haircut in high school. They also used to have gangsta type of clothing and nice watches etc. Anybody that would dress like that would be full of themselves. I remember when they had breaking news! Anna nicole smith died, breaking news! she was buried breaking news! so-n-so is the father. Art of distraction I mean come on how is that important? They barely talk about the president on the news anymore. And if your interested there is a documentary called Outfoxed it’s about the republican slant fox news has if you search video.google.com it’s on there for free. Not to get too political on ya just thought I would pass the info along.

  2. Jodi, you always make me laugh. You are awesome. Sorry I have been out of the loop lately but I am getting Masters and it has been all nighters since last Friday. Call me Monday night. Love to see how things are in oregan!

  3. I totally missed the boat to call you!! God Damn. When can I call now?

  4. Call me during bar t ime n

  5. I totally don’t get the hidden message. Bar time? Happy hour? 5 ‘o clock pm?

  6. 290154687607

    listing brought me to check out many blogs

  7. I feel like a creepy lurker posting on your site… I have become semi-addicted to your blog after following links from X-E. I get the feeling that you and I are around the same age, so this post struck me as funny because I have definitely beeen feeling this way for a little while. Never thought of the Falling Down association, but I definitely see it. I have come to realize that if someone that didn’t know me for any significant length of time spent half a day with me, they would assume the “God… I hate people!” is my personal catch-phrase. There are more things now than ever before that just rub me the wrong way. I could blame it on my advanced stage of knocked-up-ed-ness, but the truth is it started way before that. I’m just glad to know that I am not the only one irritated by these types of things. And I promise that I am not so much of an unhappy person as I may sound. I will go back to lurking now… thanks for all the entertainment!


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