Oh To Be A Bee


I don’t know where you live but here, everything is yellow. The pollen is just unbearable and those who have allergies are suffering far worse than I can remember in previous years. I kind of feel bad for them because I see them have the same symptoms as a nasty cold or flu bug but they can’t stay home because it is a common excuse. And the fact it is non communicable so they have to just suffer in the cubicle. All day long all you can here is nose blowing and sneezing. If it were not April I would think we were on the verge of an epidemic.

This pollen also chaps my hide because I just bought a new car and wouldn’t you know it? I got a black car. Now I dive around in a dingy, yellowish-blackish car that screams, “I do the bare minimum in life and love it”. I had the luxury of owning a silver car before so the idea of weekly washes was never center stage in my mind. Now I have a monthly membership to a snotty car wash not because I can but because I have to. Oh the price of contemporary taste.

And the bees. There are tons of these guys that seem to have quadrupled in numbers in just a week. It’s not the yellow jackets or the honey bees so much but the big bumble bees. I have heard that they don’t sting but every time one is near it sounds as if you are about to but your face in a desk fan. There is nothing funnier than to see a full grown dude flip out, flail the arms and spring to a sprint when a bee is near. Especially if the people who are observing don’t see the bee at all.

If there is any truth to reincarnation I wouldn’t mind coming back as a bumble bee. The weather would have to be nice and I think scaring people would be a great hobby. I can’t in this life because, well, I am not very scary. That is unless I looked like a bee. Hrm……..

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Fear Me!

23 Comments

  1. OMG. The are no words.

    Bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz…..

  2. Well, at least neither of us are going to bee sleeping now.

    The parent’s house had a bee infestation a couple years and a row, they populated the house at about 4 million bees per person. It got to the point where I could actually set my watch to when a bee was going to fly up my pant leg and land on my crotch. Seriously, it happen twice a day.

    When we replaced the roof, we found an endless amount of hives.

  3. Did you get an Element? Do you like it? I have been heavily thinking of getting one too.
    That suit gives you the greatest beer-belly ever.

  4. I love it. It was my last car too. The inside is the greatest part.

  5. Love the bees Will. We couldn’t live without them.

    I have seen the bees costume before but it’s just too cute. It looks like your a manchild. Your like “Ok mommy I have posed for the camera now can I have a cookie?”

    And a black car?? Seriously?? Your supposed to NEVER get a black or a white car. Unless you just don’t give a shit.

  6. You’re one kooky bee-otch.

  7. Oh yeah, I suffer from black car syndrome too…the mud streaks, the bird doo-doo, the dusty residue. Never again, I’m saying.

    Bees scare the bajeezus out of me….though I appreciate the honey service they perform.

    At first, I thought you had just found an image of a crazy man wearing a bee suit. But then I read the comments, and now I realize the frightening truth. Bee costumes scare the bajeezus out of me.

  8. Holy crap, that is the funniest thing I have seen yet today! AND it will take a lot to top it!

    My question to you is… did you pose in that costume for the sole purpose of this blog post or was there some other reason for you to dress up in a bee costume?

  9. That’s just the Greatest, Bill.
    If you can fit in a bee costume, I’m gonna make it a mission to find one of them Kiddie Unicorn ones.
    Sigh.
    To be a Unicorn…

    *dreams*

  10. i have said it before and i will say it again.

    let’s. run. away.

    wear that plz kthx

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