T minus 5 Days…


…until I get all the legal mumbo-jumbo out of the way and launch the new fitness site sponsored by Big Peach Running Company, Northface, Inov-8 Running and Function Drink. It will be pretty cool because I am just the administrator rather than the site designer. That’s because I am a retard on roller skates when it comes to CSS and HTML. So, with much money and a creative drive I will have little control over the look but a lot with the content.

But it will not be with out the help of friends. I lucked out to have support from those on my blogroll. If you haven’t been to the blog Macabre Fitness then check it out. It’s currently a shell for the actual site but the articles that people have contributed are amazing. I know this because the stat counts triple what I post. Here is one Pam sent me and it is exactly what I am looking for. It gives great insight to the world of the sports bra. Something I could never know anything about. The only thing I can say is boobs; I like them and they should be protected. Thanks you so much Pammy. I am even going to throw it on Veggie because it is that good.

So send me your funny stories, tips and tricks about physical fitness. I am working on free stuff to send you guys from the sponsors. No good deed goes unrewarded. Here is Pam on sports bras. Enjoy!

SPORTS BRAS!

Looking Out For #1 and #2: An Intimate Guide to Sports Bra Shopping

Those women who not only have washboard abs but also a washboard chest don’t have the same concerns as I do when it comes to athletic wear. Unless you have a rather ample bosom, you couldn’t possibly understand the pain and injuries that can occur if you’re not properly outfitted. Running, jumping, boxing or anything that requires you to move quickly in an up and down fashion is likely to be painful unless you smash your boobs. Working out is definitely not the time to enhance them. Goal number one when sports bra shopping: make your boobs as flat as possible as the correct bra will inhibit breast movement.

Therefore, the first thing to look for in a sports bra is support. So what constitutes support? That would be the back and you should choose either a full or racer back which allows your shoulder blades free movement. If made well, the thicker the back the sturdier the bra. You don’t want hooks or zippers as sweat makes metal slippery or sticky and both are cause for embarrassing moments – trust me.

Next you should look at straps, which must always be thick. Anything that resembles a spaghetti strap is going to offer about as much support as a wet noodle. Your boobs shouldn’t be hanging low when exercising but that’s exactly what will happen if you choose a thin-strappy tank top sports bra, with or without a shelf. Rule of thumb: if it’s more of a tank top that you’d wear to the beach over your swimsuit, then it’s not the right bra to work out in. Thick straps will always stay in place and you will never pop out of one – no adjustments necessary no matter how intense your workout.

BAD GOOD

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Style and liner. I dislike the uni-boob look that short sports bras will give you, which is why I always choose the tank top sports bras. But not just any tank, one that has a double liner. Nike usually wins in this category with a tight and durable outer layer and an underlying cross-shaped bra liner with thick elastic underneath. This double bra action gives an extra layer of support and ensures no flopping around.

Material. Get something that breathes or you could suffer from chaffing or zits in weird places. I’ve discovered that anything Under Armor makes is basically mana from heaven. I don’t feel wet or sticky and sweat never rolls down my back when I wear it. You want a material that absorbs as much sweat as possible without making you feel like an old shower towel. Also, never go with any bra that is made entirely of spandex as it absorbs about as much as duck feathers in a rain storm.

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Finally, purchase a bra that’s a little too small for you. Not so small that it inhibits breathing or creates cleavage in your throat, but small enough that it keeps everything in place and doesn’t allow for free movement. If you wear a 36D and purchase a Large sports bra, chances are there will be material gaps on the sides of your breasts – so get a Medium instead.

For those of you who might be basically breastless, this doesn’t mean it’s acceptable to go braless as ALL women should protect their goods.

Be tasteful, tactful, and true to yourself.

-Pam Shep: Hey There, It’s Pammy-Girl

12 Comments

  1. I don’t have any great stories as of yet. I thought I might after yesterday because I didn’t put my knee brace on quite right and midway through my workout I could feel it. I was stubborn and didn’t want to stop so I pushed on. Luckily, aside from mild soreness, no lasting effects and no falling (as I do so well). I’ll let you know if anything worthwhile happens.

    As for the sports bra, I’ll have to check into Under Armor. I hadn’t considered them. I have a decent one for now, but I’ll need a new one soon to hold the girls in place.

  2. “retard on rollerskates”
    Thank you sir,

    Great insight on sports bras pam!
    I can now safely say I know more about sports bras then the average joe.

    I have no stories of fitness but if you ever need skateboarding stories I have you covered buddy.
    Apparantly its a real sport these days, who knew,

  3. I just want to say real quick Will I did a lot of walking tonight because I went to the fair and had to walk to and from and be constantly on my feet with only brief breaks in between from 8pm until 1am tonight my feet were and still are in a lot of pain. When I was walking home sore I thought about you running your ass off into a bloody mess and that motivated me to not bitch as much. So thank you Will.

  4. DC: Again, Under Armor is fabulous. Of course, all their products fabulous. In fact, they make amazing ankle running socks, too. I find that I’m willing to fork over ridiculous amounts of money for good bras because if they work, it’s totally worth it.

    JoshC: Glad to help. While sports bras may be an enticing visual for you, they’re functional necessities for me and require many hours of searching for just the right product. I’m sure you could teach me lots of interesting facts about jock straps and cups.

  5. Hey so now it’s….T-2 days??? Wow, this is so exciting, sponsors and site-design and free-bees, well done, can’t wait to see it in action 🙂

    And Pammy Girl: I like your final note on even the flat-girls making sure we support the wee ones..it’s true, and while I don’t like the idea of making myself look even FLATTER…athletic times call for supportive measures.

    Thank You 🙂

  6. William,

    We’ve not spoken in a while, but I understand why. You’ve been enterprising, my little Scrotilla The Hun.

    Getting all “capitalist” on me, are ya? Well, Im proud of you, Good Sir.

    Hope it’s a success the size of Tommy Lee’s schlong. Bigger even. I hope to see your new site and wonder how Pamela Anderson “does it”.

    As for me, well I’m just sitting here in Houston…living at the fucking corner of Celibacy Lane and Spinster Avenue.

    Miss you. Let’s keep in touch.

    LK

  7. That’s funny.

    I was on the crunch machine the other day and I noticed a woman on an elliptical with wildly flopping boobs. It was driving me crazy. I was studying her carefully so that I could give Matt all of the pertinent details about her (and possibly even blog about it), and I was judging her to be in her late 30’s or early 40’s. Then I realized that we graduated from high school together. She looked much older than her actual age, and I blame her floppy boobs for it. Be nice to the girls…time and gravity are already fighting against you as it is.

  8. ya know, I used to strap the girls in like MAD when I played soccer- and got called a bull dyke for it. I knew what i was doing though…
    Good to know my gals will be at attention and perky as all hell in ten years, when the girls that made fun of me are going to be throwing their saggy boobs over their shoulders to keep from tripping on them.

  9. Romi: I know it’s a sensitive subject, but better to protect what you have in order to preserve for the future.

    Allison: Just like I don’t understand how women with long hair work out with it hanging in their face and down their back, I certainly am horrified and confused as to how it is possible and even comfortable (or acceptable) to let the girls loose at the gym. Aside from it just being tacky, allowing them to flop around is just painful… and not necessary. Which means she CHOSE to do that. Weirdo.

    Kittymao: The girls you played soccer with were totally jealous of your rack. They secretly wished they had huge boobs, too, but didn’t so they called you names. I bet if you saw those flat-chested harpies now they’d admit to that.

  10. I don’t even need a sports bra but I found it riveting. Here’s hoping I never need one…”man-siere”, “bro” or otherwise….

  11. Questions!

    1) Pammy Girl, I haven’t tried Under Armor yet because I really like plain old-fashioned COTTON. The touch, the feel of cotton. Can you tell me without a doubt that Under Armor is superior to cotton? I don’t care about my clothes being soaked with sweat, but I care about the feeling of icky nylon or rayon or any other synthetics, bleeccch, against my skin. I am curious about this because Under Armor is currently out of my budget, unless I found out it was nothing short of miraculous – then I would set aside some money for it.

    2) Billy, I have a story you might or might not be interested in for Macabre Fitness. Can you tell me what I should do with it?

  12. Hey Crisitunity! I would love to get it. Just email it to me at wewjr@aol.com and I will post it on Macabre Fitness blog for the new webpage. Thanks so much and thanks for dropping by!


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