The Great Trek: Part 2


Adventure is worthwhile in itself. – Amelia Earhart

I got up relatively early on day 2 because for one, I passed out before 10pm and two, I gained an hour since I was now in central time. And by early I mean 5am. So, I showered, brewed coffee, watched the news, raided the breakfast bar downstairs and climbed into the Element cockpit, refreshed with a renewed sense of adventure. So adventurous was I that I decided to go off the recommended AAA road map and take route 65 straight north to Heaven, er, Iowa. (That was a Field Of Dreams joke) I am glad I did it, too.

I saw lots of what you see above. I guess that is harvested wheat? Whatever it is, it is as far as the eye can see. To me, it looks like God spilled his bag of Combos. You see that too? Hrm, I guess I might be alone on that.

Actually everything was very pretty for the first hour. Then it became pretty boring. I can sum up route 65 into 12 words: Cow Cow Cow Corn Corn Corn Cow Cow Cow Corn Corn Corn. That is pretty much it. I am glad I didn’t talk my friend into coming who likes to break out with an ‘I Spy’ game every ten minutes. It would have gone something like this:

Friend: Wanna play ‘I Spy’?

Me: Um…sure?

Friend: Ok, I’ll go first. I spy something red.

Me: Is it a barn?

Friend: Uh…yeah. Ok, let me try again. I spy something brown.

Me: A cow?

Friend: Fuck you, asshole.

I am positive that is how it would have gone. He is very touchy about losing that game for some reason. Maybe it’s because no one else gave a shit and he always won by default?

So, about hour 2 into the the drive I passed by a bunch of bikers. Normally I wouldn’t have thought anything about it because, lets face it, Harley Davidson really took the balls away from the average biker when accountants and stockbrokers started sporting leather and Softtail bikes. But these dudes were in formation, ZZ Top beards and giving the Heil Hitler salute to me. Maybe I scare easily but that freaked me out. I hate Nazis. It’s ok to hate Nazis, right? I know it’s not right to hate but Nazis are the exception, I thought.

I told myself I wouldn’t touch on this but I have to. So, after I escaped the 4th Reich I needed gas, so I stopped at the Kum and Go and used the Jerk and Spurt to fill up my car. It’s a good thing I already had a drink and I didn’t need a 32oz Suck and Slurp. Oh my goodness. I sent Mandy this picture because I couldn’t keep it to myself. Are these through out the Midwest and if so, do people think that’s funny?

So at this point of the trip my excitement level began to climb steadily because I was soon to rendezvous with a fellow blogger in Minnesota. I apologize for the smeared windshield. That is all bug guts. I think by the end of this trip I was responsible for the deaths of over 10 million bugs. There are bugs all over the US flying their flags at half mast right now.

So, who did I meet? Kristaine! The mastermind behind the very famous The Pilver.

This was such a treat! Generally people who meet from online groups or blogs can be a bit of a let down but not Kristaine! She was every bit as funny, smart and entertaining as she is on The Pilver and X-E. I have to say that it was a great couple of hours and I look forward to meeting more of my blog buddies. So, if I show up at your house don’t worry, I’ll come with food and beer. Thanks KB!

Well, after Kristaine and I parted ways continued on to my resting spot in Fargo, North Dakota. Yes, I had to go there. And I bought a t shirt too!

Tomorrow I will post day 3 and 4. I bet you are excited to read about my drive through North Dakota, aren’t ‘cha? I know you are.

10 Comments

  1. it looks like God spilled his bag of Combos greatest thing you have ever written 😉
    I look like I am about to spit or something.

  2. What? You look great!

  3. Glad you made the trip safely and love the little armchair tour of the US I’m getting from reading here.

    It’s fine to hate Nazis, you get a free pass on them. Unless they are fluffy nazi kittens, because no matter how nazi they are, you can’t hate fluffy kittens, even if the meow a rendition of “Deutschland, Deutschland über alles” with a paw raised in front of them.

    Could be worse than buying a Suck and Slurp from a Kum and Go, seriously.

  4. No Kristiane you look like you are just looking down at the table kind of thinking to yourself!

    Your comment about those bundles of hay lol reminded me of something my Granddad used to say on road trips. He would point out in fields like that and say, “Those sure are funny looking cows!!” We would say Granddad those aren’t Cows! And he would just say oh yeah those are sure funny looking cows! Like we were agreeing with him lol!! Also when we would see fields of horses he would point and say moo! I think he would even say those aren’t good Cows they don’t even know how to moo!! Reminiscing makes me want to be a grandparent just to make up crap to feed to my grand kids.

    I hate Nazi’s too, those guys would scare the crap out of me. I was introduced once to a relative that was german but lives here in America he had a thick accent. Someone mentioned Jews for some stupid reason and he from calm and friendly to really pissed off like he could have a heart attack right then and there. Someone told him to calm down and change the subject and he did. A few minutes after we left my Grandma said did you see how upset he got when someone mentioned Jewish people? That was several years ago and he’s still upset etc. she acted like it was a learning experience to see a german person get upset over jewish people. It kind of was.

    I have never seen a Kum and Go before but that sign looks hilarious.

  5. I love reading about your drive through North Dakota!

    This made me snort my coffee..

    “I told myself I wouldn’t touch on this but I have to. So, after I escaped the 4th Reich I needed gas, so I stopped at the Kum and Go and used the Jerk and Spurt to fill up my car. It’s a good thing I already had a drink and I didn’t need a 32oz Suck and Slurp. Oh my goodness”
    Dirty minds think a like 😉 I wish we had those here! I would never buy gas anywhere else!

    And the part about God spilling his combos! 😆

    I’m still laughing!

    I’ve missed you too Billy Boy!

  6. yeah, i think that’s just regular old hay. my sinues are expanding just looking at it.

    never seen a kum and go anywhere around here. what were they thinking???

    on to day three!

  7. I want to go to the Kum and Go.

  8. “so I stopped at the Kum and Go and used the Jerk and Spurt to fill up my car. It’s a good thing I already had a drink and I didn’t need a 32oz Suck and Slurp”….hahaha…I don’t even know what to say to that!!! You are a saucy fella….err…I mean, whatever.

    And O—M—G…tears from the combo reference…tears 🙂 God definitely dropped the plain cheese bag of Combos, ’cause the Pizza combos have a reddish tinge…no?

    PS: Blog-reunions RULE! And you know at least two Toronto-bloggers…hint, hint, “Em and Romi”….get your ass up here, I will buy you beer and nachos! 🙂

  9. My best friend and I joke that if either one of us win the lottery we’re going to open a gas station called “Stick it in & Pump” and be known for our special Foot Long Hotdogs. I think we’d be able to give the Kum and Go a run for their money!

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