Dag-Nabbit!


I think that’s the phrase of the last couple of weeks. Lately I have been taking great strides towards not using the Almighty’s name in vein so “dag-nabbit” seems to do fine.  Here are a few examples.

  • “I have had four cups of coffee and I’m still sleepy. You would think that for the $35 I spent on this coffee for a charity, it would be better than Starbucks.”

2982910480_30defe7297 “Dag-Nabbit!”

  • “I love shitzus! They are like little people and they have such a great disposition. Can I pet him?”

Image028“Dag-Nabbit!”

  • “Whew! Thank goodness I found a restroom after that 32oz Powerade.

……where are the urinals?”

190786603_2ded604006“Dag-Nabbit!”

  • “Thanks for the messages, Erica. I’ll make sure to call this client right now.”

“Hello, this is Will from DMM. May I please speak to Matt…

IMG_0528Dag-Nabbit!”

  • “Why are there so many people laughing at me at stop lights? Is my car that dirty? I have to pull over and see what is so funny.”

IMG_0504“Dag-Fuckin’-Nabbit!”

You see? This has been one hell of a May so far. There is no way that the second half can go this way without my head spinning off it’s axis. At least it’s the 15th and a Friday.

God Damn it.

36 Comments

  1. Haha! You had a great start in May! I hope the second half would be as funny as the first!

    • It’s been interesting, Cassie. I will give it that. Thanks for stopping by!

  2. Don’t worry, don’t worry, there will come a time when you can laugh at it, too, or so they say. Hmm, but reading your blog is nice because i can see i’m not the only one being frustrated this month. Kind of nice to laugh at someone else’s for a change, thanks! BTW, hope the dog had anti rabies shots. Gudnyt!

  3. Came to say 2 things:

    – First: I left you a comment on my blog saying that if you don’t have a curse word in your tags then you’re doing it wrong, and here I see you have ‘profanity’. ha! close enough I suppose!

    -Second: In a roundabout way I found another Where Have You Been? …Dude from Gremlins! His star has greatly fizzled I’m afraid. (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0002090/bio) Quote from IMDB that says it all (On landing acting roles.) : “There are a lot of tough things to do with the business, I’m completely numb now to rejection. I get rejected for 98 out of 100 things I try for.”

    Ouch.

    You just know he’s thinking Dag-nabbit!

    • Billy from Gremlins! Yes! That is a brilliant idea. That really sucks about his fall from stardom. I guess that is the way the Moguay morphs. Or whatever.

  4. Oh and cracking up at the shit-zu thing!

    • Yeah. He is a fucking dick and I don’t like him. Told him so too.

  5. Bwah ha ha! Matt Douche! Penis on the car! This post really spoke to my inner 12 year old boy.

    (You’re funny 😉 )

    • I have to hand it to the artist who drew the male genitalia on my car. I was totally fooled and didn’t notice it until 5 that afternoon. Now I have to do a walk-around the car or wash it every other day.

      The Matt Douche thing really happened like that. I almost said it but stopped at Matt Doooooh.

  6. That truly does suck my friend. I’m sorry to laugh at your misfortune but the drawing on your car darn near made me fall off my couch laughing! I have to hand it to you, even when your having a bad day/month you still find a way to make us laugh!

  7. I am so glad that I’m not the only one who says “dagnabbit.” I’ve certainly heard it from my Southern kinfolk before, but in these parts of the good ol’ U.S. of A., when I speak that delightful word it is often followed by strange looks from the people around me.

    Thanks for making me feel a little more at home. Hope the rest of your month takes an upward turn.

    • I like the term, “dagnabbit”. I also like “slacks”, “that’s hip”, and “swell”. It’s a good thing I have given up on cool.

  8. Poor Billy. Who drew the dick on your car?

    • The guy with a funny looking dick. J/K. I really don’t know but I dig their style.

  9. Awesome stuff.

  10. I love how you comment back on the first few comments and leave the last comment’ers hanging! Why is that Bill Will… do you not love the late comment’ers anymore? Cause we love you!

    • As the late great Mr. Miyagi would say, “I razy”.

      Just kidding. I love you too Lacey. When are you going to update your site? Huh? Huh?

  11. Most oft used, if never entirely satisfying, alternatives to swearing:

    Poopstick – still graphic and not pretty, has good “k’ sound

    Dinosaur Pig LIcker – made up while babysitting by a 7 year-old boy who was trying to shock me by swearing. So not gonna’ work. Told him swear words were boring (worst lie i ever told maybe) and that we should make up better ones. This is the only one I remember. Also good “k” sound.

    yikes&crikey – old school avoidance of blaspheme. Lots of “k”.

    Crimminy – as above without the “k” satisfaction.

    Shnicklefritz – again with the “k” sound and Germanic tones which lend themselves well to anger and frustration (Do not mean to insult any German readers here – I’ve heard German sound pretty awesome in a few films…)

    Nothing really can ever take the place of the word “fuck” though. Such a well-rounded multi-purpose word… Love it…

    Sorry you have had such a crappy start to May. We celebrate Queen Victoria’s birthday this weekend up here and it marks a kind of unofficial start to things summer – perhaps things will turn around for you?

    For all the rest there is beer. Or tequila….

    • May I use a few of those? I just had my wallet stolen at the gym and nothing is fitting what I feel right now. Shnicklefritz is sounding about right. But, when in doubt, there is nothing like a good fuck.

      • Very sorry to hear about the wallet!!! Damn, we need to take out a magic wand and wave it around for you to make things get right round your way. Geez. And, of course, use as many of my substitute swear words as you wish though – as you say with all its glorious “double entendre” ‘pun’niness – There is nothing like a good fuck so I say use that one as much as human possible today. With impunity. And I will reiterate the notion of “beer”….

  12. I know we all go through days, weeks, months, years that seem like they never go our way. I have adapted a phrase that I copied from somebody else. Mother Hubbard!! It kind of fits where Dag Nabbit fits. Every time I say it around Harry (my best friend) he chuckles so I think it works. But now I am in the habit of saying it and I don’t have to think to say it. Which I like.

    My gf (yes that’s right I have a gf now!) is the only person that I have heard ever in my life that uses the phrase that was the tops. She calls things the tops. I love it because she is 28 going on 29. That is beyond old fashioned so I have no clue who or where she got it from.

    • Congrats on the new girlfriend! She’s a lucky lady.

  13. Wow, I missed out on a bunch, bill.

    I had to urge to say hello… so I am!

    Good to see yer doin’ well.

    And don’t kick me.
    Life has been…
    I can’t say busy.
    But it has been.

    Mebbe some day I will blog again.
    But I think I’m boring.

    • You are in big trouble, missy! Where have you been? It has been like 4 months passed your curfew!
      Glad to hear from you. 🙂

  14. Ok, seriously, it’s not funny anymore, May is sucking for EVERYONE I know! Just one solid slab of mind-numbing suckage so far. Ugh. Well, keep putting up the good fight. The most frequently thrown around phrase at the office is ‘Dang it Bobby!!!’

    • May sucks duck dick like no other. Just about an hour ago I had my wallet lifted from the gym. Really?
      Fuckin’ propane!

  15. I know.
    I am so bad.

    I really want to get back into it.
    And you know what?
    I missed blogging.
    and bloggers.

    I have to set aside some time to do it.

  16. you so made my day! That is hilarious!! Who did that to your car??

    • I am glad I cold. I really don’t know who did but I have some suspects. Like I said earlier, I like their style. It’s hard to be mad when even I was laughing.

  17. Your wallet!! Well, I imagine I’m sending this to a headless axis at this point but I thought I should let you know that this never would’ve happened if you hadn’t left Georgia. Sage words.

    • I know! You have no idea how bad I miss it too. Why didn’t you warn me? 🙂

      • I didn’t warn you because you would have eventually resented me for depriving you from your adventures in Idaho. I warned you with my silence. Plus, if you grew to resent me, you would never take me back to the beach. I’m glad I got this out.
        *Oh, and we have 4-hour work days here now. and unicorn petting zoos… Just so you know.

  18. Did people used to create anatomical drawings out of your pollen layer back in GA? Just curious if mud was more conducive than pollen.

    • We haven’t had a pollen attack here. Plenty of mud and that is a great canvas. As seen above. So juvenile.


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