Dirt Napping


Man, what a month it has been! Can you believe in just a couple of weeks we have seen not one but four celebrities pass away? I know a couple were circling the drain but the other two, wow, out of nowhere. Well, let’s give them a shout out.

42-3870-smEd McMahon lived the life, didn’t he? He always struck me as a guy who liked his drinks a particular way as well as his women. I could be wrong but neckerchiefs and gold bracelets never lie. At 86 one would say that’s a good long run but I did feel a little bad about his homes going into foreclosure right before he died. I think Donald Trump bailed him out but still, that sucks something fierce at that age with the legacy he had. I hope he is up in heaven having a bullshot with Phil Hartman.

farrah-fawcettI think we all knew Farrah’s time was soon but still, an icon like this going down is still hard to swallow.( That sounded dirty and I am sorry.) Even as a young kid I remember looking at this exact poster in my Uncle Brett’s room and thinking, “I don’t know what is happening but I like it.” She blazed the trail by empowering women to embrace their beauty and use it rather than feel ashamed and hide it. At least that’s how I perceived her intentions. Her passing really brings to light the fact that cancer is terrifying and no matter who you are or what status you hold, it can still get you even after years of battle.

caratulas_MICHAEL_JACKSON-THRILLER_Ok, I did not see this one coming. Not at all. I know he lived a life of mystery and bizarre behavior to include a total face transplant, having a monkey, living in Neverland, napping with kids and naming his kid Blanket but I never imagined him passing so young. I remember when Thriller came out and that video terrified me as a kid. Those monsters were far more scary and disturbing than any rated R movie at the time. I can still close my eyes and think of Vincent Price’s part in the song and walking at a fast pace to my parents room for a safe night of slumber in their bed.

I will be honest, the man was a genius. He seemed to defy gravity when dancing and his albums were nothing less than perfection. I have yet to meet a person that didn’t like something he did. I bet even the Taliban has a little love in their hearts for Moon Walker.

m171161359As Scooby Doo would say, “Rut the Ruck?” Billy Mays died? Are you serious? I have always had a fascination with the man and it wasn’t for his ability to sell you shit you would not normally buy on TV but rather his high decibel voice. The man had no indoor voice and I wrote about that almost two years ago. You can find that here. Well Billy, I am sorry you were silenced so early. Your voice will forever be in my head  saying, “Billy Mays here!”.

You know what else died? My favorite bar in Idaho. It is true, my home away from home is gone forever. I know that including a bar in a blog about dead people is a little insensitive but I really feel like I lost a lot of friends.

When I moved to Idaho I knew no one. I mean really no one at all. I was living out of a hotel until I could find a place to live and my only real means of social interaction was the gym and the local pub next door called Paddy’s 2. That very day I first stepped in there I was taken under-wing by the bartender, met a nice lady would allowed me to to stay in her basement until I found myself a permanent pad and went on to forge many friendships that I still have today. It is sad when such an establishment goes under and you have only memories. And with a bar they are usually foggy ones.

IMG_0693Happy trails, Dougie. Until we meet again.

On a happier note, you are looking at, er, reading at(?) the proud member of probably the last 100% VHS rental store in America. Yup, it just proves that Idaho is still hanging in the 80’s. Of course I rented Texas Chainsaw Massacre and The ‘Burbs because that is how they were intended to be seen. Oh VCR don’t fail me now, we have work to do.

IMG_0692Oh, and somehow I caught pink eye. Jokes on me.

39 Comments

  1. Sad times indeed. Both of my blogs have paid tribute to these fine folks. (Due to Farrah being upstaged TWICE, her entry in In 10 Words will appear tomorrow)

    • Can’t wait to read them, man. Farrah did get her time stepped on quite a bit. 😦

  2. What a weird week. I have to admit I didn’t even know Carson existed as a child. I knew Ed McMahon solely as a host of TV Bloopers and Practical Jokes. Can we all just STOP DYING now???

    • Me too. Him and Dick Clark. I always enjoyed the cartoon segways between commercials.

  3. My local closed down just under a year ago. It was the core of my existance since I moved to Amsterdam- one of those places that everyone knows everyone and when you walk in it’s like your own living room. So many friendships formed there, and we even worked there for awhile. Everyone was in shock and disbelief and we have still yet to find a suitable replacement. 😦
    I still pass it daily and they are now gutting it to redo it up as a furniture store, to add insult to injury.

    • That reminded me of a Farside comic. It was a one legged elephant talking in a phone booth. He said, “What! They turned it into a waste basket?”.
      Cracks me up every time. I’m sorry but that is like your pub turning into a furniture store.

  4. I have batted around the idea of making a vlog about this fine folks for a few days but I have always went against the current and I don’t want to spend my time saying just what everybody else says. I really don’t want you coming over here now I don’t need an ulcer and pink eye. Keep your shit over in Idaho! I have never had it but I hear it is some of the suckiest stuff to get so sorry buddy.

    A comment about Billy Mays, I saw a show on MSNBC last night about as seen on tv stuff and there was an interview with him in it. He did have an indoor voice and it makes you uncomfortable listening to him talk with it. He could be really reserved and polite when he wanted to. And he could switch into pitching mode like a switch. You could tell he had a lot of experience selling stuff. They said he would work out of a mall pitching stuff to customers all day. He did that for several years before he was on commercials.

    • I think he would disturb me if I heard him in a meek and mild voice. I liked him pitching, “KABOOM!”

  5. “…neckerchiefs and gold bracelets never lie.”
    That just made my life.

    ps. sorry to hear about the pink-eye, but thankfully it wasn’t conjuncitvitis! Oh, wait…nevermind.
    As soon as I figure out the e-card side of the business, I will send one your way.

    • Your e-cards are epic.

      I always wanted to start a card company for those who you have to send something but you have no care in the world for them. Like “Father’s Day….yup.” or “Christmas….must be the 25th”.

      • I can’t believe I didn’t think of that…

        If my card idea takes off we should look into doing a collaboration. I could see this business venture being a real cash cow…

  6. You forgot David Carradine & Dom Dom DeLuise!

    • yeah, Dom made me sad. Wasn’t he itchy in All Dogs Go To Heaven and the crow in The Secret Of Nim? Poor Dom, you aree missed.

      David….I’m sorry you went out like that. Really. I am sorry.

  7. Dood, keep yer poop-finger outta yer eye!

    tee.
    sorry.

    Anyway- yeah. what a fuckign week, huh.
    It’s strange, but I really miss Billy Mays- such hawking,booming ridiculous awesomeness…
    And I didn’t know I’d feel so nostalgic that Michael’s now gone. It really hurts.

    I can only begin to imagine that this is how I will feel when Ozzy goes.
    *knocks on wood*

    • If Ozzy goes I will skip work for a week.

      My pink eye is almost gone leading me to believe that I didn’t have it. I always diagnose myself wrong. Like Wayne Cambell diagnosing himself with mono. He was just really tired.

      Now that I’m out of school, I never hear of people getting mono anymore. Strange.

      • My flatmate is 25 years old and got mono last month. He felt horrible and the doctor couldn’t diagnose it. Finally, when he had run out of ideas, he turns to him and says, ‘This is going to sound strange, but did you just start a relationship recently?’

        Flatmate says yes and doctor explains this disease that you get from new relationships. Most people get it when they are younger and become immune, but if you’ve never had it, you can still get it when you are older (like chicken pox).

        hahahah MONO!! He got mono! He got the kissing disease!

  8. Seriously… I was really getting into pitchmen too!! It’s like my new favie show… I guess its re-runs for me!! Sad!

    • That is sad. All of this is sad. Sad Panda.

  9. I hope during all the Michael Jackson tributes this week they play nothing but Billy Mays commercials in between.

    • That would be great. I wish Billy was still here. I haven’t seen his commercials since that fateful day.

  10. This was weird…not just that four celebrities died in a week, but 4 very different people who were in their own way, very entertaining.

    • I know! From all four corners. We took a definite hit on the talent side of humankind.

  11. Part of me held out some small, strange hope that I would one day have the opportunity and means to see Michael Jackson in concert, but I guess that’s that. I still can’t even believe it. Can’t believe the Billy Mays thing either…I mean, that was just surreal, and completely unexpected.

    I’ve always had this theory that there is no such thing as pink eye. I’ve always thought that there were like 3 or 4 possible conditions that a person could suffer from that would cause their eye to get all puffy and itchy, but none of them are technically called pink eye. It’s just whenever a person comes down with one of these actual conditions, they all conveniently fall under the umbrella of pink eye and that’s what people say they have.

    But what do I know? I’ve never had it. And I’m not a doctor. I just play one on the internet.

    • Luckily for me it was just a simple infection from a eyedropper bottle. And running with so much tree pollen and crap in the air. Kind of wish I didn’t jump to conclusions about the pink eye because now everyone thinks I have poop in my eye.

      • See! I told you!

  12. Actually, I think all of this was a plot by David Carradine to distract us from his untimely death due to a failed autoerotic asphyxiation attempt. That is all.

    • Choke and jerk? Oh wow. INXS all over.

  13. It is very disturbing. Either these things happen in threes, and there are two more celebs out there waiting to kick it, or all of Hollywood should be on the alert. I would not want to be Patrick Swayze right about now.

    “He didn’t have an indoor voice” – classic!!

    • When Patrick goes I might shed a tear or two. “Wolverines!”

      I am worried for Mrs. Archibald.

  14. hehe isn’t pink eye from animal poo or something getting in your eye? hehehe.

    • I know! I’m clean I swear to God!

      Thanks to Knocked Up pink eye really got a bad rap.

      • haha well if it makes you feel better I had pink eye once when I was 7. We were in Vegas (who knows why) and my mom had to practically sit on me to put eye drops in my eyes.

  15. Celebrities die in threes…but you can trust Billy Mays to throw in an extra free of charge! Just pay seperate processing and handling.

    • That’s funny. 🙂
      At his funeral I wonder if there will be an addition to the eulogy that says, “AS SEEN ON TV”?

  16. It’s been a freaky month, my friend, a freaky month. Even the lady at the dry cleaners below my apartment passed away. I’m getting a little freaked out. However, I’m of the opinion that MJ is on an island with Tupac and Biggie somewhere. Sometimes, you just have to believe…

    • They’re all sipping pina coladas poolside, with a handsome puerto-rican cabana boy in tiny shorts at their beck and call.

      • Elvis is also there and they are planning their “We’re Back” concert tour

  17. great mind think alike- just had a thought about this earlier today…

    now Tom Green is in the hospital in critical condition for a stupid reason

    • Tom Green? Didn’t he ave testicular cancer a few years ago?


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