Cataclysmic Colossus Of Clout!


I don’t think that means anything but it’s my new “boy wonder” exclamation. I say it when you will least expect it so stay on your toes. So today I am going to give you a “catch up shot” or ‘ketchup shot” if you prefer. You’re gross.

  • Changing the VM header so I have been playing with images and old photos when Wicket and I locked eyes. My God, he has dead eyes. No soul. I still believe that Ewoks must have smelled like 20 year old moldy shag carpet. Those matted hairy butt bears.
  • The VSA went out on my Element the other day. My friend was with me when the warning light came on and I asked her what she thought it meant. She said it was my car telling me to “fix the Vehicle Shit, Asshole”.  To which I left her at the bus stop.
  • Went to see Megadeth on Monday. Amazing. Probably one of the better shows that I have seen in the past few years and I really went all out. I moshed, spit beer, think I broke my jaw, sang every song, got a nod from Dave Mustaine as I crowd surfed in my work clothes. But I was upstaged by a guy crowd surfing in a wheelchair. What a dick.

  • It has been so mild this winter I can not believe it. It has actually snowed more in Atlanta than it has here in the Northwest. Not that I am complaining but it is such my luck that I move on a mountain the year Idaho has the worst winter and to a low altitude plain during it’s mildest. Karma! Fuck you! Wait. I take that back. Nice karma.
  • I have been consistent in my weight lifting over the past couple of months and I have almost regained everything I lost this past year. That scares me because lifting 250 this quickly means an injury is just around the corner. But I am too obsessive to stop. Maybe when I can flex out of a shirt I will stop.
  • Last night I made pork chops and cataclysmic colossus of clout. Told ya to stay on your toes! Just when you least expect it.

  • I can’t stay silent anymore. I will never again sit back and act passive when someone wants to watch The Kardashians, Brothers And Sisters, that show after Entertainment Tonight and any other show in that category. They are so stupid and idiotic. That’s right I said it. I know why people hate Americans and it is because we watch insane shit like this. Who can actually be taken seriously when you decide to give up an hour, a minute, a second that you can never have back again watching spoiled and shallow people have life altering problems like throwing a party and not finding the DJ they want or talking gossip about people they don’t even know. F that.
  • Broke my second iPhone right after I spent $40 on a “protective” case. You are welcome Steve Jobs.
  • I am beginning to think that honesty is over rated. I was in a neuroscience class today and my professor has been on a workout kick involving only jumproping. He came in class today and said that he has been sluggish from being under the weather and hasn’t been jumproping. He claimed that jumproping with diarrhea was not the best idea he has had. Wouldn’t you know it, I was the only one to laugh. What am I, five? To make it worse, he asked if I was okay. I told him not really.
  • I have a park across the street from my apartment and occasionally I will take a stroll or walk to the university the long way just to enjoy it. Last week there was a tennis ball left by one of the random dogs that play there. Without thinking, I picked it up and aimlessly threw it without looking…right at two joggers that were jogging towards me. It was more than just awkward. Actually, I don’t want to talk about that anymore. I am the worst person.
  • Saw Phantasm for the first time. I loved everything about it. Kind of wish I had someone who enjoys campy horror as much as I do to have seen it with.
  • Going to Vegas, San Diego and LA for business and I am happy about that. Hopefully it will be filled with cool people and fun times but I have a feeling it will be filled with meetings and takeout. Wish I had an R2D2 unit to give my sales spew in hologram form. ‘Buy from us, Teledyne, Inc. You are our only hope.”
  • That’s it. You are caught up.

13 Comments

  1. Highly recommend Black Christmas as campy (ish) horror. It’s the original “the call is coming from inside the house” movie, 70’s hairdos and all. For serious camp, Jack Frost. The horror one. I don’t think it’s a spoiler, merely a tempter, to tell you that Shannon Elizabeth gets fucked to death with a carrot in that movie.

    • Wait, wait , wait….fucked to death with a carrot? Am I wrong for putting Jack Frost on my Netflix number one position? I really am the worst kind of person.

  2. 1. Is my Ewoks: Battle for Endor post in wordpress? or on my other blog? you’re the coolest. i feel like we have/should have bonded over this before.

    2. um, phantasm! holy shit. is it not the spookiest movie, sort of? that scary ball!

    3. you haven’t really updated anyone about Maiden. just sayin. i would do it on MY blog, but, see, you’re the only one who READS the damn thing. which is why you’re my favorite.

    you are.

    • I am there for Maiden. I just want to make sure we can get tickets and everyone will be there. Mainly you.

  3. my brother and I loved Phantasm growing up.. – he even made homemade Phantasm balls spraypainted silver

    • Brian!!!! How have you been? How is the new house, Almost Papa? Drop me a line. I have a couple of articles for you that I haven’t quite proofread yet.

  4. Did they play “Symphony of Destruction”? Probably a stupid question, but that would be worth the price of admission alone.

    Phantasm is classic. I have a lot of great memories attached to that…

    “Booooooyyyyyy!”

    • Oh they did, my friend. And it was glorious!

      I am writing a post about my top ten favorite horror themes. Phantasm is way up there. Care to share?

  5. The title makes me think of The Sandlot when they’re trying to explain who Babe Ruth is. I was pretty annoyed with the weather god this year as well. The first winter I leave Utah they get one or two snowfalls and my first winter in Arkansas is the first time we get snow since the 80s. Lame. Would have loved to see the interaction between you and the joggers. Somebody in that park got a good laugh.

    • That’s it! That has been bugging me for a week. I kept saying that I have heard this somewhere and now I can stop. You are brilient. Billiant Brilliant.

      That was the most awkward way to meet people. It was like when Chris Farley hit that lady in the head with a football in the movie Black Sheep.

  6. Haha! I would have paid money to see the looks on those joggers faces. Real money, even.

    Thank-you for catching (ketching? I’m gross!) me up, Will, it’s hard to live vicariously through someone when you have to guess what they’re up to…

    b:)

    • It was one part horror, two parts wtf and one part Scooby Doo question noise. I pretty much put my hands in my pocket and walked the other way.

      I have some serious ketching up to do with you too. So sorry.

  7. I would have totally laughed at the jump rope story. hell, i would have guffawed


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