Curmudgeon Me


I am getting old and while my body is fully aware of this, my brain is still 18. A baby’s brain and an old man’s heart, took 32 years just to get this far. For some reason I just refuse to put it down and act my age and the signs are starting to show. For example:

A couple of months ago I went to see Megadeth and had a great time at the show. The one thing about me and a metal show is I try to experience it all and by all I mean stage diving, crowd surfing and of course moshing. Most people shy away from an invite to such a show and I now understand that. Especially since I came home with a broken rib and no clue how it happened.

Another lovely incident happened recently when walking home from the pub late at night. I was minding my one business when I heard someone sprinting my way and when I turned to look….

That was all I remember. The next thing I know I have two girls helping me sit up with blood everywhere. Some pussy guy ran up, slugged me and took off, leaving me knocked out and bleeding. Can you believe that?

So this is a week later. It looks so much better than it did over the weekend and I am starting to not scare as many people. In fact, I was at the gym and a guy asked me about it. I told him, “first rule of fight club…” and he smiled and told me it looks bad-ass. I didn’t know get knocked out could make someone look tougher. I need to make up a better story.

Well, like I said, I need to act 32 and not 23. Walking home from a pub alone at 2:30 in the morning isn’t wise and jumping off a stage into a mosh pit is even less wise. Who knows, tomorrow I might take up base jumping with a questionable parachute? But for now, I think I am going to stick to my new hobby; shitty origami.

20 Comments

  1. I hope your recovery is going well, I’ll admit, it does make you look like a tough guy! Bad things do happen to good people, Will. Imagine what kind of life that dangerous idiot must have? Glad you’re okay.

    • Thanks, pal! It’s weird to get a head shot and have a “tough guy” scar but at least he gave me something; a good side. 😐

      I can’t imagine that guy’s life. I guess I’ll say a little prayer for him.

  2. Betcha it was the fat kid with the wooden sword from the last photo of your last post.

    • It might have been but from the size of him, I don’t think he could run that fast. Just saying.

  3. Okay… soo I didn’t get punched in the face by some dick. But, my knee hurts pretty bad going on three days now and I have no idea what I did! Does that count? A week and a half away from 29 and I am totally feeling that “I’m getting old thing” !!

    PS… Love the duck… or crane… or uhh… duck! πŸ™‚

    • Oh no! What is wrong with your knee, Lacey? Are you going to get it looked at?

      Oh, and thanks for the nod of approval for the duck. Or crane. Or…goose. Swan?

  4. “Some pussy guy ran up, slugged me and took off, leaving me knocked out and bleeding. Can you believe that?”
    Yes, I can believe that. Maybe you were part of a gang intiation? They do that here alot, just beat up the people walking home from the bars for no reason whatsoever. Did the bar have cameras? If it does maybe it will show some guy or guys following you out. Just reaching here. It boils my blood when shit like this happens to good people, which makes these douche bag pricks even more fun to arrest. Did you call 911 or just dust yourself off and head home? Fucking cowards.

    • As a cop I feel for you having to deal with low-lifes. I just hope you stay safe.

      I went home and fell asleep and patched it up on my own. Not too smart but I just wanted to get the night over with.

  5. Next time, hit on girls with less angry boyfriends πŸ˜‰

    • That would have made sense but this time, it was just random violence.

  6. three things:

    1. OMG your broken rib! 😦 Get some bed rest, do you need me to make you some soup??? πŸ™‚
    2. OMG…your eye!!! It’s a dangerous world out there, I worry about you Will! Hope someone can kiss it better for you πŸ˜‰
    3. Your origami is NOT shitty, I can’t even make a paper airplane, trust me I’m impressed!!! πŸ˜€
    4. *hug*

    (I can’t count, that was four things…)

  7. 1. It’s healed. Kept me out of the gym for 6 weeks though.
    2. No one to kiss it. It’s too scary looking.
    3. Thanks. It required tape. 😐
    4. I’ll take one.
    5. You are the sweetest girl in the world. πŸ™‚

    • aww…*blushing*…but of course there are some girls who work at candy factories all day, and just by the process of atmospheric influence and molecular transference, they would actually be sweeter…you should call them up πŸ˜‰
      (PS: I used big words to try sounding smart, do you ever do that? It’s fun πŸ˜€ )

  8. have you ever considered mah jongg? It’s safer than pub crawling and easier to master than origami…..

    • I have not tried that. I think I might. Especially since I have given up drinking and need a new hobby that doesn’t involve blood.

      • I would stay clear of Mah Jongg too. The Asians residents of my precinct (I am close to Chinatown) play tournaments until 3 or 4 in the morning and wind up stabbing one another over who won. If they is not enough, the other, non Asian residents wait for them to walk home with some winnings and rob them in the street. Good times.

  9. OMG, that’s crazy!

    See, that’s why you should never have left Canada, Will.

    Actually, the same thing happened to me once. But instead of a guy, it was two girls drugged up on something or other. And I was walking home from work.

    Anyway, I hope you’re healing well…what a rockstar that loser was.

    ps. Might I suggest shadow puppetry? It’s my latest “thing”.

    • You got mugged? Holy crap!
      Story! Story!

      Glad you are ok.

  10. Shit, man! That’s rough. At least now you can rock the “just got in a fight” look. So sorry that happened. I’d be willing to bet the guy that hit you probably couldn’t hold his own in an actual fist fight. Too bad you’ll probably never get to find out.

    Luckily, that’s never happened to me, but I had a couple close calls when I was going to school in England. The school I was going to wasn’t in the best neighborhood and I had a lot of late-night-after-pub walks home. I was constantly watching my back and darting my eyes around. The closest I came was a couple of guys yelling at me every now and then, but surprisingly, as soon as they heard the American accent, they backed off. I actually heard one say, “He’s American. He probably has a gun.” Ha!

  11. I thought you were going down some kind of ‘Curious Case of Benjamin Buttons’ path at first….or was it Mork and Mindy.

    Anyhow, what a Jerky McJerkerstein (the anonymous puncher, not you)!!!!!

    When I was in Atlanta for a conference (several years ago), they told us about guys who wore yellow hats/helmets who could escort us around downtown to keep us safe. (I never actually saw one of them though.) Maybe your pub could borrow those Atlanta people [assuming they still (or ever) exist(ed).]


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