She’s a Small Wonder and a Robo-Zombie

Sometimes I can’t believe the amount of talent my friends possess. I try to stand close to them and see if 0.00001% will rub off on me but according to “real life” talent is something that is natural, not gained proximity . Still though, I am always impressed by their creativity, whether it be through writing, singing, art or gabbing on an entertaining video. If I choose to, I don’t have to leave my little circle of friends to find entertainment because brother, if talent was a business, it’d be a boomin’ with these beautiful people.

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Remember that show “Small Wonders” from the mid to late-eighties? You know, the father is an inventor and builds his son a sister because he had a vasectomy too soon? I think that’s the story? Anyway, I loved this show as a kid and had a bit of a crush on the android V.I.C.I. (Voice Input Child Identicant) who was played by Tiffany Brissett. (I have confessed this before on this blog) It’s was a great little sitcom, very reminiscent of Nick@Nite shows of the 1950’s.

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The other children, however, were a casserole of nonsense. The red-head, Harriet, was one of the most annoying gingers in the history of neighbor co-starts. She made the Ochmonek’s from ALF look like Brad and Angelina who always want you to come over to sit in the hot tub, drink beer and eat steak while we have Angelina speak sentences that start with the letter ‘B’ like, “Buttered bread beats blue beets by being better.” Because her lips are big. Have I lost you yet? Wait!

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The brother, Jamie, is equally as annoying with a face of a little politician. My boy, Bo, and I agree that he should have grown up to be a Newt Gingrich but the course of nature had other plans.

most unfortunate

most unfortunate

All of this is irrelevant! The point of this post is to show off a great gift from my pals over at the wonderful Lost Story Studios in Chapel Hill, NC. And you need to check them out. They’re going to be big.

It’s a half eaten zombie V.I.C.I. holing the severed-jawless head oh Harriet!!! And it’s mine! There is so much great about this, I don’t even know where to start.

Thank you Bo and Brockton! You guys are amazing. I owe you mucho beer and gin. See ya at the Mad Monster Party in a few weeks!

Check out Lost Story Studios by clicking on the link here.

Something Something!

I can’t say what right now, but I am working on a joint project with a couple buddies of mine. I am sure you know of them if you have read anything for any amount of time here. It will be mostly videos and reviews and I promise you, their videos will be far more entertaining than mine. But don’t worry! They will all be posted here as well as on their site. It’s a great way to break up monotony because this time of the year has shit for holidays.

Until then, I am practicing my gif skills but you need to click on it. (told you I am practicing)

Simpsonhalloweengif

 

I am not sure when this will start because that really isn’t up to me but I have already commenced on my end and we should have something in stone before long. Work has been a real dick so this distraction is very welcomed. Keep your hopes high.

World Market and Voodoo. Who Do? You Do!

Whenever I am low on necessary things to do or I am aimlessly driving past, I have to go to World Market. I don’t know if you have one where you are but most major malls will have a World Market close by at a neighboring shopping center. (look for Babies R Us or some type of like store) It’s a store that has absolutely nothing essential to survival but you will swear the opposite when you step in. Covering the globe in merchandise, you can drink Japanese soda while sitting on a Nepalese sofa. I…I spend an inordinate amount of money every time I go there so I have cut back to once every other month unless I have to have Q-cumber soda. There is an actual internal meter inside me and if my “Q-soda meter” gets too low I answer all questions with fart noises. My blessing-my curse.

This is a quick snapshot from the back corner of the store. I chose this angle because every time I tried to take one, some damn kid would run around the corner and I have a fear of someone mistaking me for being a child-perv. Now-a-day, that’s a legit concern. So, I opted for this shot because beer and wine is boring to a prick eleven year old.

This kind of proves my point of how random this inventory is at World Market. I can think of no other store that carries a musical tie. Or would want to. I am also confused by boasting “The Original” at the top of the box. This was a common thing? There was a market with competitors and impostors of the musical tie? I need to know more and it’s going to be a restless night if I don’t.

To further prove my point of the randomness in this international super store, just look at my damn basket! If there was a coming apocalypse and I showed up to the bomb shelter with this mess, I would be the first to be eaten. But no one can say no to a mega Tootsie Roll. Even if they are on fire.

If you have the means and there is a World Market within a decent drive, I highly recommend you stop by. It’s hard to leave empty-handed with an entire aisle dedicated to wacky beers and rubber chickens. I make none of this up.

Watch the beer review from one of my finds that was a cool $13.oo but who cares? It’s maple and bacon flavored from a very famous Portland donut shop. I haven’t been able to drink beer in some time because I am training for another stupid race but this one calls for a special exception. It’s pink. Also, you get to see the beginning of my rad office and VeggiemacabeTV studio.   woot

I can not believe I have been doing these vlogs for four years and they keep getting worse.

Keep a heads up for the next post and video of other people besides me!!! That’ll be good.

You Need To Stop Finding Me Like This

Over the many years I have writing here at Veggiemacabre, it always amazes me in this wide wide world of the web how people come to find me. Sometimes it’s on purpose, sometimes it’s a random Google search looking to see what Aaron Dozier is up to. Most of the time it’s a photo search that just happens to link to my small restate in cyber space. But every so often there is the bizarre person who finds me in their perverse and twisted internet search. I am creeped out but in some small way, I appreciate them. Just randomly poking around the site stats, here are a couple from yesterday.

A long time ago I did a little workout to an old VHS workout tape of the former Good Morning America host, Joan Lunden. As a young blogger this was an opportunity that I couldn’t miss and at that time I had the time. Fast forward years later, I am still a source for people’s random searches looking for Joan Lunden. I will say this is the first time I have been a hopeful site that exposes Joan Lunden’s funbags.

I did a Google search for “Joan Lunden boobs” and wouldn’t you know it?

I was on the first page! Why am I proud of that? Granted, there were a few that had the word “breast” in some sort of Joan Lunden recipe site but if you want to talk about Joan Lunden’s hose-hounds, I’m your guy! Actually, I don’t think I ever mentioned her boobs in that post. But don’t tell the weirdos that. I need the site hits. I’m a sneeze away from a half-million.

I also like the “Oldest Female Celebrity That You’d Knock The Bottom Out Of”. *cough cough cough*

Okay, let’s see what other strange people are out there from this past week.

What the crap? Is this real or a dream? Are people meaning to make eye contact with their pets while they are shitting on the lawn? I can’t tell if I am more disturbed by the intentional search for “eyes of a dog trying to poop” or the fact that it led to me.

 

So, just like before I had to search for this just to see how far into the “search” I am and why. Dog poop? Fine. Dog’s eyes? Fine. Dog’s eyes while pooping? Nope.

Well, I couldn’t find an exact avenue leading me home from this search. Mainly worried owners who watch their dog shit. I had a dog years ago and I have no memory of watching him trot around the back yard looking for the perfect place to shit. I did, however, have an awkward moment when my cat was pooping and wouldn’t stop meowing. I just turned the TV up louder.

I am so sorry for this post. Perhaps I am tired from building this dang office or just the work week. Regardless, there are about five good ones on the way. But until then, deal with old boobs and dog poop. You’re welcome.

 

A Quick Catch-Up

Hey! How ya been? It’s been a while since I have written one of these and even though this is a short little blurb about what is going on, BIG THINGS ARE HAPPENING ON THE HORIZON! So with that being said, guess what I have been up to? 

Well, in short, I turned 35 and am having a tough time coping with that fact. People my age have teenagers, can die of a heart attack and it not be too abnormal, grocery shopping is an event that involves a lot of label reading, and the music is too loud. But what are you going to do? Someday we are going to die. You, are going to die. “TURKEY TITS!”

Most unfortunate

Most unfortunate

But that’s not why I am writing this post. This post is about my new office that will be the greatest hub of all blogging and VeggieMacabreTV shows! I bought a desk with 157 pages of instructions and hopefully the end result will be something I can put a cup of coffee on and without it sliding off.

As you can see this is a task. The projected launch should be sometime this week (depending how work goes) and I haven’t been this excited about something since…I don’t know. Is that sad? I have about six articles on hold until like videos can be shot from this platform. It’ll make sense later this month. Until then, I have a V1 screw that needs to be put into board P.

Oh, and did I tell you I got a gig as a part-time model for Joseph A. Bank and Men’s Warehouse? Yeah, that happened too. It’s a long story that will be told in a very short bit.

 

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