FLTO: Taco Bell Sriracha Taco

My great pal, Brian from Review The World, shot me a message informing me that Taco Bell has a limited item featuring three burritos with varying level of heat. Now I haven’t been to a Taco Bell since I don’t know when but I have heard when it comes to spicy food, they actually keep the heat real. Also, I use the term “food” loosely. It’s probably healthier to eat a handful of Legos.

Screen Shot 2015-04-25 at 3.09.16 PM

Called the Dare Devil, these are chipotle, habanero and the dreaded ghost pepper burritos and I knew I had to follow-up the ghost pepper fries with this. Unfortunately (or maybe fortunately) these have not made it to North Carolina. So, I had to rely on the lame-o limited time Sriracha taco to review on this rainy Saturday afternoon. I waited almost twenty minutes in the drive thru so I need to get something out of that adventure.

Imagine a regular taco with Sriracha sauce on it. There you go! Good night folks!

Screen Shot 2015-04-25 at 3.10.59 PM

It’s actually a little more interesting than just that. I was on the fence with a taco and an asian spicy sauce because I’ve never gotten why sriracha is such a popular thing. Other than the witty Oatmeal cartoons, it’s always been a ‘meh’ condiment to me. But, surprisingly, it compliments a shitty taco pretty well. Maybe that was the secret to bring Sriracha around for me.

I’ll still keep an eye out for the mysterious ghost pepper Dare Devil Grillers or whatever they are called. They will definitely be reviewed and added to the FLTO section because I need to have gastro-disastro and remember it forever. There are more than a few benefits to having a blog about stupid things.

I need to at least get 300 words and now I almost have. Done!

FLTO: Wendy’s Ghost Pepper Fries

Screen Shot 2015-04-19 at 5.34.55 PM

It’s been a minute since I have added a post to the “For A Limited Time Only” page but when you throw words like “ghost pepper” around, you have my attention. A new addition of pain has been added to the Wendy’s menu and it’s definitely not permanent so I felt it should be immortalized on the site. The Ghost Pepper Fries showed up earlier in the week with much fanfare from those who like to involuntarily burp when saying the word ‘cholesterol’. That’s up my alley.

There have been lots of fast food items of the heat persuasion but few who tout being made from one of the hottest peppers on earth. I know this first hand after I stupidly ate a dried one a few years ago. The only way I can describe the experience would be to imagine a pain so searing, if someone told you that the only way for relief was to eat a urinal cake, you would eat two. So, naturally, when the Ghost Pepper fries came out, I had to try them. Because I am a very sick, sick man.

Screen Shot 2015-04-19 at 5.38.42 PM

Weighing in at 480 calories, 900 milligrams of sodium and 27 grams of fat, it’s safe to say these are not good for you. Made with their cut fries, melted shredded cheddar, a weird ghost pepper neon orange sauce and diced jalapeños complete with seeds, this is a little bowl of indigestion costing you a mere $1.99. They even include a fork just incase you had ghost peppers sauce on your fingers and used the bathroom. The struggle is real when you are a seasoned spicy food consumer.

Immediately when I opened this container up I knew this was not a true ghost pepper product. There is a certain smell that the ghost pepper has and it will choke you hard. You don’t have to eat the ghost pepper to have a bad day with it. These Ghost Pepper fries just didn’t have that punch. I did notice, however, the bright nuclear orange color of the cheese. It’s like drive-in movie theater nacho cheese orange. (Crayola, get on that please) The diced jalapeños seemed to be the only true source of heat. And I was right. Sometimes I hate to be right.

Screen Shot 2015-04-19 at 5.38.51 PM

To be honest, it was not very hot for me. Sure, there were a few bites a jalapeño seed got the better of me but on a scale of one to ten, one being “puree peaches” and ten being “going to the hospital”, I think these fries fall into the three rating. There were a few spicy bites but it’s just not that hot. To me. I need to clarify that because a couple of months ago I damn near killed a coworker when the waiter accidentally switched our Panang Curry order. A five-star spice rating is where I begin so keep that in mind when taking my advice.

Screen Shot 2015-04-19 at 5.39.01 PM

Against my better judgement I finished the whole order for a fair review. Spicy foods can also be rated based on the building level so taking one bite doesn’t give a fair shake to any food with heat. You gotta eat it all. So, for the next couple hours no jumping rope or wresting in a bounce house. Safety first.

To pair with the Ghost Pepper Fries, Wendy’s also has a Jalapeño Chicken Sandwich for a limited time only. I am sorry to report but this old guy can’t do both. I rarely eat fast food and if I was to jump two feet into a full meal at Wendy’s with nacho cheese sauce I think something extreme would happen. And not like a radical extreme. The different extreme.

So, there you are. The fries are not terrible but a little misleading. When you say jalapeño people say “huh? Wha?” but when you say Ghost Pepper… well, you’ll get my attention. This was not ghost pepper. In fact, this was not even close to habanero. But that’s okay because killing an innocent seventy year old lady who wanted cheese fries but was clueless to what a ghost pepper is probably wouldn’t be how Wendy’s wants to go out. I get it. Not everyone has a ruined palate like me.

Try them and let me know how you fare. Feel better about your fries and order a salad too. Wendy’s has their shit straight when it comes to salads. Have a great Sunday night!

  • Like me on Facebook!

  • Follow me on Twitter