Where Did You Go?

I’ve always had a fascination with obscure stars that leave Hollywood and assimilate themselves with us “normal” folk. I believe it started when I was in San Diego minding my own business at a Holiday Inn lounge. I turned to my left and wouldn’t you know it, i was drink a beer next to Emerson Hart, the front man for the band Tonic. This was well after their popularity dipped to almost zero. So, just like the tactful jackass I am I said, “i liked that video when you were getting punched repeatedly…..remember that?” Who am I, Chris Farely? He was pleasant enough to say yes and thank you. I bought him a gin and quit while I was ahead. That meeting inspired me to keep the spotlight on more obscure stars that most people never think about.

Atreyu and what’s his face. I am going to start with Atreyu. His real name is Noah Hathaway and from what I gather on the Wiki world he can kick your ass six ways to Sunday. His hobbies range from tat’s to martial arts to professional motorcycle racing. In his younger days he was the prettiest boy I ever did see and on the playground being called Atreyu was not a compliment. I think Noah realized this and did a 180 when he turned 21.

Get the fuck outta here!

Good ‘ol what’s his face. Actually it’s Barret Oliver. He will always be immortalized in The Never Ending Story, D.A.R.Y.L., and Tim burton’s, Frankenweinie. At times I find myself quoting him when I am out to lunch with others. I take a bite of my sandwich, and with a half full mouth say, “No…not too much. We still have a long way to go.” If there is anyone who has not seen The Never Ending Story it leads to severe awkward looks. I think Barret is a professional photographer in LA now. Good for him. If you can’t be in the shot you can at least take it.

cookseynowDanny Cooksey. This guy brings back so memories from his short time on Diff’rent Strokes as little Danny. The cute innocent kid that managed to get kidnapped by the family that recently lost their own son. To this day I don’t talk to strangers. Thanks Danny!

He was also in MacGuyver and sporting a mullet in Terminator 2. I guess he turned to metal when he grew out of his cute because he has been in and out of rock bands since the 90’s. Last I heard he was in a band called Lucy’s Milk and married to a make up artist. I hope he goes back to the bowl cut. It suites him.

Gotta love this guy. Dabney Coleman has been in so many films and TV series that if I had a dollar for all of them I wouldn’t be writing this in a coffee shop…it would be on a boat. A big one. He’s still cranking them out too which is pretty incredible because he was born in 1932. I’m surprised he retains his lines! His most memorable roles for me was Cloak and Dagger, Tootsie, Muppets Take Manhattan, War Games and Lilo and Stitch: the series (don’t ask). It seemed to me that he was always in the Airforce. Does that ring true with anyone else? I guess it’s his persona that screams, “I’m grumpy but I am a softy”.

Rick Ducommun is quite possibly my favorite actor of all times. It had a lot to do with his character Art Weingartner in the movie The Burbs. I am in the process of writing a tribute article and a web page to The Burbs. Seriously. But I digress, I love this dude. I wish he was in more films because you just can’t help but smile when he is talking. Or eating.

I have no idea what Rick is up to today. I guess he went back to Canada but I am always waiting for his comeback. You can do it Ricky!

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Oh Danny Schneider! Best known for Ricky in the great 80’s movie, Better Off Dead and the fatty nerd that thought he was the smartest dick in Head Of The Class. He’s still working hard as a writer and producer for Nickelodeon. He also has a rare collection of Bakelite radios. Now you can sleep easy knowing that. He hasn’t aged that bad. He still looks the same. Check him out now.

(oh… I’m an asshole)

I have a lot more. I actually have a couple of index cards filled with names that I’ll write later today. This is fine for now and I better get back to work before I get sucked away into blogland. Hope you enjoyed my list of missed characters. I’ll leave you with this.

R.I.P. Roy. I hope there are bigger boats in Heaven!

1932-2008

Part2

Ok, so I’m not done with my list of people that have ducked out of the limelight as I know it. Sorry this took more than a week to post but work is an SOB lately. I know it’s an accuse and people with far more responsibility manage to post when they say they will like my pal Kristiane but Hell, at least I am doing now. So without further ado I present to you some others that I ish we would see more often.

Art Evans, mang! This guy was a key element in defeating the terrorists in Die Hard 2 and was a pretty shitty detective that completely blew off Charley Bruster in Fright Night. His demeanor was always one that commanded at least 35% of a viewers attention. We acknowleged him but when he shows up in other movies the brain goes into the “where have I seen him before” mode. Personally I think Die Hard 2 would have sucked without the charm of Art and his quick witted line, “where are you going to get those lights? Borrow them from Batman?”.

Stephen Geoffreys was best known for his character Evil Ed in Fright Night. Every time I saw this movie I couldn’t help but become a little annoyed with him as Ed. That is until he was bitten and turned into a vampire with really exaggerated teeth. I mean he could eat apples through a picket fence. His vamped character was spot on, man. Spot on. But with all that going for him, Steve took a different career road than budding actors. He went straight to the hard core gay porn industry. No shit. Some of his later movies were (and I’m not making this up) Butt Pirate, Latin Crotch Rockets, Seamen In Training, and Leather Buddies. Well, what ever floats your boat or in Stephen’s case, beats your banana. Good for you Steve. I’m glad you are who you are.

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Who you callin’ Dicknose? Jerry Levine is that sarcastic guy you just can’t help but love. My earliest memory of Jerry was his character in Iron Eagle as Doug Masterson’s buddy. They had kind of a weird trifecta friendship between them and their token black friend, Reggie. Really? Reggie? But again I digress. Jerry has been in many great films including his major role in Teen Wolf which told all us teens to be popular we must exploit our friend’s differences to give meaning to ourselves. Jerry is now a director for the funniest show on TV, Always Sunny In Philadelphia. I knew he was funny. He just needed a better agent.

joe

Damn, I need to finish this later on tonight. The one fucking coffee shop that has wifi has just been invaded by mother fucking high school drama students. I hate all these kids. I hate drama kids. Drama college students are cool. Drama high schoolers are seriously unbearable. Too loud, to dramatic (no shit) and all annoying. I’m not even going to spell check this. It’s so funny to hear how hard life is to them. seriously? Declaring themselves bi-sexual? in a coffee shop? Fucking little assholes. I hope a there is a prom knock-up soon in their future. Hee….

Part 3

Ok, I can’t help but continue my tribute to those who aren’t a household name but are the center of my movie favorites. I think it is for that very reason I am such a fan of these people. I want to see what they are up to and I sometimes wonder if I would be the only weirdo that would recognize them in a grocery store and beg for an autograph on my box of Triscuits. So lets get going.

I like Darren Harris. We know Anthony Micheal Hall and of course John Cusack but what the hell happened to Darren? He symbolized the perfect geek in the movie Sixteen Candles, Better Off Dead and Weird Science. All three movies rank high on my 80’s must see. Darren was the best geek actor ever. Seriously the best because I am positive I was friends with this kid in high school. Everyone like me had an asthmatic buddy who knew how to build a computer, play the trumpet, had peanut butter sandwiches stuck in his braces and dreamed of one day becoming a Navy SEAL. I don’t know why but it is tough to find out about Darren other than his work as Cliff “Wheeze” in Sixteen Candles and he is from Canada.

Darren, if you read this please let us know what you are up to. I hope you are still alive man.

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Thomas F. Wilson is Biff/Griff Tannen. Sorry Tommy but that is who you are. I know you have been in hundreds of TV episodes and animated voice-overs since then but every time I see you I will be waiting for you to knock on someones melon shouting “hello, hello butt-head!” Just kidding Tom. Actually Thomas Wilson is a really funny guy. His stand up is one of the best I have seen and believe it or not he is also a great musician. His hobby is a little strange though. He paints portraits of childhood toys. Hrm…

Fuckin’ eh it’s Porkins, baby! Actually it is William Hootkins This guy had a long career in some of the greatest films like Raiders of the Lost Arc, Batman and of course Star Wars: A New Hope. Believe it or not he was born in Dallas, Texas and moved to London after studying at Princeton and becoming fluent in Russian and Mandarin Chinese. It kind of sucks that he was such a brilliant man and talented on stage actor but landed the fat boy role as Porkins, the tubby X-Wing pilot. I always imagined his maintenance crew cleaning out McDonalds bags from the floor board of his ship. Poor Porkins.

William passed away in 2005 after losing a battle to pancreatic cancer. He was 57. The force will be with you William, always.

Well this is a little embarrassing. Apparently Gizmo was just a puppet. Moving on.

David Graf was just an awesome guy. He will always be Tackleberry from the Police Academy movies. Even though he has been in everything from M.A.S.H. to the Star Trek I can’t help but call every cop I see Tackleberry. It sucks to say this but Dave passed away in 2001 from a heart attack. I hate finding out these guys died when I am trying to see what they are up to today. I think I watch way too much TV because I feel like a classmate died.

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I know I have written about Airwolf on here before but I wanted to focus on Jean Bruce Scott. It has always bothered me that in the intro there is a shot of her eating chicken. I still to this day only think of the character, Catalin O’Shannessy as a chicken eater. I’ll post the intro again for you to see. Today she is back in the saddle again producing and writing after a long hiatus from her acting career in shows like MacGuyver, Jake and The Fat Man, Matlock, Newhart, ect… But like the on going X-Entertainment funny, I don’t want to think about chicken when I am watching Airworlf.


What? Twiki wasn’t real either? So you are telling me this guy isn’t in Malibu right now? Son of a bitch. “beedee beedee!”

Part 4

I think I am going to keep up with my inquiry into obscure actors and actresses that mean a lot to me. It’s fun to poke around the internet and find out that the co-star of a long lost great sitcom now owns a chain of TCBY’s around Delaware. Then again the same search can reveal the actor died from an asphyxiation fetish while jerking off in a Motel 6 off International Blv. in Orlando. Regardless it makes for interesting reading.

Tom Atkins has always been the symbol of masculinity for mid range budget 70’s and 80’s horror movies like The Fog, The Creepshow, Night Of The Creeps and of course the cinematic equivalent to a dump in a jar, Halloween III. He wears a tough exterior as the hero who is never far from the vices that bind him. I don’t think i have seen him in a movie without a drink in one hand and a cowboy killer in the other. If there is ever a reason to drop everything I have worked for in life, grow a mustache, move to Hollywood and pursue a career in acting it’s because of Tom Atkins. It’s Miller time!

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Tom is still pretty busy these days. He has a list of movies that are still in post and pre production and has made quite a few TV appearances to include Walker Texas Ranger, The Fall Guy and Xena: Warrior Princess. He still resides in his home state of Pennsylvania and I really hope he’ll make an appearance at Screamfest 2008 in Florida because the chance of meeting him is the only real reason I am going.

This has always puzzled me. What did Jennifer ever see in Cousin Larry? She was way out of his league, don’t you think? Well, regardless the actress who played Jennifer is Melanie Wilson and she cranked my tractor, even when I was only eight. She had a long ride with the show “Perfect Strangers” and was also in a couple of other great shows from the eighties like “Simon And Simon”, “The A-Team” and the spin off “Family Matters”. I think she has been behind the scenes in a few other Hollywood projects but nothing after 2001. Little known fact, she is the daughter of the late “Mr. Whipple” from the old Charmin toilet paper commercials. Sorry for your recent loss, Melanie. Mr. Wilson was one of the greats.

Alice Drummond will always have a place close to my heart from that fateful scene in the beginning of Ghostbusters when she was the New York librarian who encountered that full torso, free floating, non vaporous apparition that made me shit my pants as a child. I still love her interview with Bill Murray which gave us the famous line, “Back off man. I’m a scientist.” She has been in many films and TV shows in her career and is still cranking them out today. It’s kind of funny that she is of grandmother age and shot an episode of “Boston Legal” called Ass Fat Jungle. Oh to be on set when the grip tells her, “scene 4, Boston Legal, Ass Fat Jungle take 2…..action!”

I feel a little bad about this, but until recently I have always known Alex Karras as Webster’s father, George Papadopolis and the dumb guy that punched out a horse in Blazing Saddles. It turns out he was also an All American college football great, an NFL legend for the Detroit Lions, a Monday Night NFL commentator and a professional wrestle. Hrm, who knew? I bet over half the population of America knows Karras as the NFL great and not George. That’s why I write this stuff!

On another point, don’t you find the character names strange in the show “Webster”? George Papadopolis, Katherine Calder-Young Papadopolis, Webster Long, and poor Heather O’Rourke didn’t even have a last name. Just Melanie. I am curious how those names came to be.

This was a pretty lame post, but I couldn’t leave the site on such a sad sack note.

Part 5

Here I go again. Curiosity has taken the best of me and I find the need to ask what rational people never think about. Today’s “Where Did You Go” theme will be a space one. It’s funny to think that a lot of the movies back in the eighties were based off a magical box called a computer and through that unknown resource of technology anything was possible. Whether it was taking pieces of discarded junk to construct a spaceship, plug in a processor making the magic of space travel possible or start World war 3, computers made any story believable. But I digress. Actually, I don’t know where I was going with that at all. So without further ado, here are some Astronauts from the 80’s.

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Joey Cramer from the Disney movie, Flight Of The Navigator. I swear that this was on HBO for 10 years straight when I was growing up. This was the only real notable role for Joey. He played David Scott Freeman, a kid who was abducted by an alien at 12 and returned back to Earth, only it was eight years later and he had not aged a day. For some reason he always struck me as a whiny little dick. “I wanna go back to my family…Jack gets all the attention…..You took me away from my family…but I want a Golden Goose….” Regardless, the one cool thing is the brief appearance of the Foot (Sarah Jessica Parker). I love the scene in reference to Twisted Sister when David asked, “who’s she?” Sarah replied, “It’s not a she it’s a he. Actually it’s a them…”

The Canadian born actor has not done much since Flight of the Navigator besides a few odd movies and a guest appearance on “Murder She Wrote”. He did win the Saturn Award for Flight of the Navigator so I guess that’s pretty cool. Where ever he is, he is 34 and I will not bet my life on it but here is a picture of him from 1996. The only one I could find.

I hope that is him. It’s from some off Broadway play but since then, I got nothin’.

We all know this movie! Like I said in the beginning, anything is possible with a computer and a Tilt-a-Whirl. Most people remember Ethan Hawk and the late River Phoenix but not me. I remember Jason Presson, the lesser known actor but the one I liked the best. Ethan was too much of a windbag in this film and River was plowing a pretty grotesque alien, so the only one left to respect was Jason Presson, (Darren Woods).

I guess Jason took a different road after The Explorers because River Phoenix and Ethan Hawk’s career really shot off. Since then he has stayed primarily with TV and lower budget films. But I do have to give him props for Gremlins 2. He hasn’t done much that I can find since 1997 but I did find a recent picture of him. I hope he goes back to film. We need more Pressons out there.

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I remember seeing this movie, but I don’t recall the specifics. All I know is Larry B. Scott was in it. Whether his role was the token character or not, he is one of my favorite actors. I love this guy and I have been a fan since Iron Eagle.

Larry B. Scott played the role of Rudy Tyler, a science geek that fell short of a few essential skills like… understanding it. He was really an entrepreneur who loved french fries and dreamed of one day opening a restaurant in space. We are still waiting, Rudy.

Larry’s resume really stands alone from other recently obscured actors. His films include Iron eagle, Revenge of the Nerds, Karate Kid, Snake eater 2 and his debut movie, A Hero Ain’t Nothin’ But A Sandwich. I challenge anyone to bring that film up in a conversation. I have personally said it 10 times aloud and each time a couldn’t help but laugh. Love ya’ Larry! Here is a recent side shot.

Still a winner so many years later.

Hello Ally Sheedy! Goodness gracious she’s a hottie. I know I am drifting from the space theme but stay with me here. The movie War Games is about two teenagers who play with their computer magic box and the mystical, yet prehistoric Internet when the Web only had a few strings, and almost start a world war. I take the space theme because one, ICBMs go to space and two, I love Ally Sheedy. Two should be a good enough reason.

I think we all know how Ally has been but I just wanted to include her because I haven’t seen her around. Actually since she kicked her sleeping pill addiction I haven’t seen her in anything mainstream. The last project that I remember was when she played the ticket agent in Home Alone 2. That’s no place for a Goddess! Get you act together agents! Right? (crowd response- RABBLE! RABBLE! RABBLE!)

JINX the robot from Space Camp! Well, I can’t find a picture of him for the life of me so I will give you a clip of him in the most unrealistic scenario in cinema history.

Shame on you Tom Skerritt for being in this crap! But anyway, there is JINX. The robot that had a boy crush on Max (Joaquin Phoenix) granting his wish and shooting him into space. To me JINX sounds like a three year old with a tracheotomy. But what ever. If there was any truth to this movie I think we could currently find JINX looking like this:

Oh man, I have rambled through this one. Thanks for putting up with me. Now off to a meeting with Fuck stick One and Fuck Stick Two. Have a stellar weekend!

Part 6

I guess it is time for another installment of “Where Did They Go” so I can have an excuse to cruise the world of IMDB and Wikipedia searching for those random few who rarely get the spotlight anymore. It’s part curiosity and part obsessiveness because I don’t want them to be forgotten. I have always been the one to remember the supporting cast or the scene that no one cares about. Really, that’s pretty much the whole theme of this blog; the odd and random that people don’t or shouldn’t think about. And we’re off….

“But i didn’t know you were going to be giving me electric shwocks!”

Steve Tash was the poor student who fell prey to Bill Murray’s experiment on ESP for five bucks and 80 volts. Actually if I’m not mistaken he told Venkman we could keep the five bucks. Regardless, he gets and A + when for the gum being shocked out of his mouth. Besides Ghostbusters, Steve was in a few movies like Stephen King’s/ John Carpenter’s Christine, Beach Balls and Snowballing. (I don’t think I want to know what “snowballing” means.) I am pretty sure you can find Beach Balls and Snowballingon Showtime around 3am. He has even been in a couple episodes of Diff’rent Strokes as the character “Weasle”. But other than that it looks like Steve’s career in acting came to an end. Poor guy didn’t even get a name in Ghostbusters. He was named “male student” in the credits.

I have no idea what happened to Steven Tash after 1988. I mean, he didn’t even get a guest star spot on Murder She Wrote! It seems every actor around that time at least had some part in that show. I don’t even know if this guy is still above ground. Literally! He might be dead. Ghostbusters was 24 years ago and he has to be at least 44. I’m just saying, heart disease is a bitch. So, Steve, if you are still kicking, let us know.

Oh man, it’s Thunder, Lightning and Rain from the movie, Big Trouble In Little China! That movie has always been a favorite of mine and oddly enough it has come up in conversation more than once this week. So that got me wondering what ever happened to these three mystical beings.

I am going to start with “Rain” played by Peter Kwong. He was the sword swinging, long haired bad guy that weirdly enough, didn’t have a Chinese accent. I always think of the battle between him and Wang (Dennis Dun) and that strange moment when Rain was caught looking at Wang’s, uh, wang I guess. Wang responded with an exaggerated eyebrow raise. Check it out the next time you see the movie. I’m not making that up.

Peter has been in a shit load of TV episodes prior and after BTILC (Had to abriviate. That’s such a long movie title.) to include “MaGyver”, “Miami Vice”, “227”, “Tour of Duty”, “Dynasty”, “The A-Team”, “Manimal”, “Amazing Stories”, “Full House”, and on and on and on…. As far as film he was in The Golden Child and others but maybe they were SciFi TV movies. You know the ones like Gator Man or Tyrano Dog. Regardless of what movies he did, Peter Kwong is still cranking out TV show appearences today. He resides in LA and it looks like he is doing better than ever. He teaches Tai Chi at a 24 hour Balley’s gym and serves as Governer of the Preformers Peer Group at the Acadamy of TV, Arts and Sciences. Good job Pete and thank you.

It’s Lightning! This guy was my favorite and I am still unsure how they killed him off in BTILC. The guy who played him is James Pax who, like Peter Kwong, has a few appearances in a lot of well known TV shows like “MaGyver”, “Nash Bridges”, “Tour Of Duty”, “Matlock” and “Scarecrow And Mrs. King”. Makes you wonder if they have the same agent?

Man, James Pax has been a busy man. He was born in Japan, lived in Italy, educated at New York University in International Business, became a professional ballet dancer and master of Kung Fu, sang in South America, was a model in Milan, was on Broadway and currently resides in China working on the Chinese version of “Sex In The City” called “I Just Really Want To Fall in Love”. I guess “Sex In The City” doesn’t translate too well. It’s like the word pool. In China it’s called a “swimming gym”. So anyway, his life just wore out my fingers. Fucking over achiever.

And finally we have Thunder. I didn’t really understand his specialty besides blowing himself up. If that is his power then I thing Lo Pan really fucked up his choice of body guards. I must admit that his few lines were ones to remember. “I con hep yuuu.” Classic!

Carter Wong is a real bad ass in life. BTILC was one of only a couple movies he did in America. Before that he was in real Kung Fu movies to include a few staring roles with the late, great Bruce Lee. He even taught martial arts at the Royal Hong Kong police department. Now that is a dude who can kick your ass six ways to Sunday. I hope Kurt Russel was nice to him. By the way, how many people named Carter come from China? I’m just saying.

“My name is Horace!” Actually it was Brent Chalem who played the tubby kid that was the weenie Monster Squad memeber. But I had to give him props for kicking the Wolfman in the nads. Yes Horace, Wolfmen do have nads.

I found this out from out beloved Mystie who wrote one of the best reviews for the movie Monster Squad that I have ever read. It’s true, Horace is dead. Brent died in 1997 at the age of 22 from Pnemonia in Las Vegas, Nevada. I still can’t believe it. He was working as a legal assistant for a law firm at the time. I guess his career never took off even though he did appear in “Punky Brewster”, “Quantum Leap” and “Mr. Belvedere”. We even have the same birthday too. I’m sorry Brent. We hardly even knew you.

Streaks on the china,
never mattered before,
who cares.When you dropped kicked your jacket
As you came through the door,
No one glared.
But sometimes things get turned around
And no one’s spared.

All hands look out below T
here’s a change in the status quo.
Gonna need all the help that we can get.

According to our new arrival
Life is more than mere survival
We just might live the good life yet.

He sure did live the good life but Mr. Belvedere is dead too. Poor Christopher Hewett died in 2001 from complications with his diabetes in Los Angeles but before he checked out he left us with years of wonderful work to remind us of his talents. He had been acting from the fifties until his death and was in a number of plays and TV shows to include ‘Murder She Wrote” (shocking), “E/R”, “Fantasy Island” and of course the immortal “Mr. Belvedere”. The funny thing is he was really only cast as the “English proper” or “Butler servant”. He wasn’t complaining though. I remember Mr. Belvedere being as big as Alf back in the day.

It’s Tiffany Brissette from the show “Small Wonder”! There aren’t many people who remember this show when I bring it up but if they saw this picture I am sure it would jog the memory. I always feel silly when I describe it. “You know, it’s about this guy who builds a robot named V.I.C.K.I. and everyone treats her like a member of the family. And one time she smoked pot on the show and blew a fuse and acted strange. And another time she fell in the pool and blew a fuse and acted strange. And they had this red headed girl named Harriet and she sucked. Ring a bell? Huh? Huh?……huh.”

I’m not too proud to admit that I had a huge crush on Tiffeny Brissette as a kid. I thought she hung the moon and this may sound strange, but “Small Wonder” was on TV i refused to watch in in my pajamas. I can’t quite explain why but I had to be in my favorite themed sweater and corduroys. I guess I thought there was a chance she could see me through the TV. I was a weird kid.

All though Tiffeny was in a lot of TV shows in the 1980’s and early ’90’s like “Webster”, “Teen Win Lose Or Draw”, “Parker Lewis Can’t Lose” and even the post Return Of The Jedi TV show “The Ewok Adventure”, she left Hollywood and never returned. After getting her degree at Westmont College in California she dedicated her life to helping children and teens as a counselor. She also is a marathon runner and rides horses during her free time. Man, I think I still have a crush on her. It would be nice to see her back on the TV again. Hopefully now I can watch without the need to put on a sweater with a bear on it.

Well, part 6 is done. That’s all I have for now and I can cross off these few from the list that grows exponentially everyday. Hope you had fun.

Part 7

I think I am going to start making this a Friday event. I will not go as far as to make it official because I have a way of jinxing myself and next Friday I might get hit by a bus full of gunpowder leaving everyone here saying, “that son of a bitch is completely unreliable”. So I will try the best I can because I have generated a list of people that need to be brought back to the limelight. Unless they are dead. The I will bring them back posthumously. It’s the least i can do. And away we go!

*snort snort…Weeeyuuuuu*

Holy crap it’s Roy Stalin in one of the greatest movies of the Cusack 80’s genre, Better Off Dead! His real name is Aaron Dozier and man did he play the guy that every dude loved to hate. I must admit I was a little envious of the ski teams matching jackets. I have a sleeping bag that looks just like that. Regardless, Aaron nailed the role as the perfect high school prick jock and he even took his defeat in the end like the poor sport he was. “Get Lost!”

You’ll never believe what Aaron Dozier is doing today, or at least a few years ago. He is the head coach for the Boston College ACC ski team! I guess life does imitate art after all! I wish I had an updated picture. I wonder if he can still handle the K12…..on one ski?

Remember Mr. Mom? I barely do and that is probably because I was the same age as the two kids in the tub when it came out. But I got an email asking whether or not a recent fiber commercial on TV stared one of the kids and it turns out he did. It is Alex, the kid circled, who is really Frederick Koehler. I remember this kid more than the other because he wasn’t bitching about his wubby as much. It commanded my respect, even though I was guilty at that time for peeing my pants at recess playing “Red light, Green Light.”

Fred has been working his ass off since childhood and has been in everything from TV shows like Full House and ER to movies like Pearl Harbor and Divine Secrets of the Ya Ya Sisterhood (poop in pants ( ) He was even in a great made for TV movie called The Positively True Adventures of the Alleged Texas Cheerleader-Murdering Mom. But recently I keep seeing him in commercials like the said fiber commercial as a downtrodden employee. He does have that melancholy look, eh? But I bet anything this guy is the life of the party. Keep it real Fred!

Whatever happened to the UZI? Did weaponry in Hollywood go to the way of Colt? I remember when every bad guy rocked an UZI back in the day. How many guys where blown in the air, flipping and throwing their UZI’s on the show, The A-Team? I myself, had countless UZI water guns because it was the gun of choice. I wanted to be the Colombian drug runner in the neighborhood! Oh well, maybe the UZI can comeback one day. The Israelis really know how to make something cool, you know?

Who doesn’t love this guy, Brain Backer (Mark “Rat” Ratner) from the great 80’s movie Fast Times At Ridgemont High ? I always had a connection with his character in that movie. He was a self conscious dork that relied on his suave but selfish friend for tips on how to land a date with a crush. Even though his friend was a jerk, I did agree that on a date you should always play Led Zeppelin, “Physical Graffiti”. Works for me!

Brian Backer was in some really great 1980’s films like, of course, Fast Times’ as well as The Money Pit, Meatballs and Moving Violations but in 1987 his agent sold him out to Police Academy 4 and he was forever cast the way of TV sitcoms. Actually to be fair, Brian won a Tony for his performance as Woody ALLEN on Broadway. I guess that is an achievement. Oh well, you will forever be known as “Rat” who got sloppy seconds from your pal at Ridgemont. And for that, we love you Brian.

Last for today, but certainly not least it’s Keith Gordon, one of my all time favorite actor/director/writers ever. This guy bleeds talent and has been a true backbone for Hollywood cinema. Most people recognize Keith for his role as Jason Melon in Back To School or as Arnie Cunningham in Stephen King’s Christine but I know Keith Gordon as Doug Fetterman in Jaws II. That movie made me never want to go sailing again and his role as the nerdy bookworm let me know that even the smart guys can be eaten. That was a weak statement, I know.

You won’t find Keith in front of the camera anymore and that’s a real shame. And it’s not because he lost his hair. No, he is writing and directing now and does a damn fine job of it too. His political and antiwar themes rub people the wrong way at times but it does provoke thought. And really at the end of the day, isn’t that what we want? I watched A Midnight Clear and was really impressed how he made such a powerful film that not only captured everything Kurt Vonnegut had written but it inspired me to be a Vonnegut fan. Now that’s a movie when it inspires reading!

Part 8- Halloween Edition

It has been a while since I have done one of these. But since we are less than a week away from Halloween I figured this would be a good time to add a new one. This time it will be all about October 31st. You see, Halloween is all about the scary movies for me. I can take or leave the candy, costumes and parties but when it comes to normal cable TV dedicating 24 hours to ghosts, ghouls and vampires, I come very close to taking off my pants and doing the Twist. Don’t worry, I watch them alone most of the time. So let us start off with one of my favorites.

“Oh! You’re so cool, Brewster!” Yeah, Charley was quite the hero in Fright Night 1 and 2. Even though he was a little high strung and his choice in a girlfriend was a little questionable. But still, his vigilance as a nosy neighbor payed off and call girls are free of death by vampire. Fear of STD’s, rape, murder, kidnapping and incarceration maybe, but vampires…no. Thanks to the heroics of Charley!

Charley Brewster was played by the great William Ragsdale and unfortunately, after Fright Night his career as the main character in film never took off. Sure he was in The Reaping and Big Momma’s House but William’s main bread and butter is TV. He has been in a number of episodes from different television dramas like “Judging Amy”, “Without A Trace” and “Medium”. I’m still holding out for a Charley comeback in a Fright Night 3 but I maybe alone. Here he is today. Actually, he hasn’t aged too badly. Oh Brewster!

The next star spotlight is a great one. There are plenty of films that have obscure actors who get the opportunity to be involved in the most memorable scenes of the movie. In Steven Spielberg’s film, Poltergeist, about a young family that is tormented by ghosts after they inadvertently moved into a house above a cemetery, one of the paranormal investigators is targeted, bitten by something and he had a delusion about ripping off his own face. You know the scene. And that is why we all love Marty.

“You got bit?!?!? Wow!” I have always had a soft spot in my heart for poor Marty. But think about it. In the famous “face tearing” scene, Marty leaves the safety of the den to go, alone, into the kitchen. And what is he about to do? He is going to cook a steak. Really? In the middle of the night he was going to fry up a steak? Make a sandwich, man, I like to imagine the ghosts that were messing with him because they didn’t feel like smelling fried steak all night. Well, poor Marty got the message.

Marty Casella was played by, coincidentally enough, by Martin Casella. That is him to the right and it is kind of funny that I always assume actors with small parts are beginning artists. Not true about Martin. When Poltergeist was being cast, Spielberg himself recruited Martin Casella. At that particular time Martin was teaching drama at a Santa Monic high school so I would say he knew a thing or two about acting.

Since Poltergeist, Martin has only been in a few films like Robocop 2 and Turner And Hooch. He had small roles in each but that isn’t where he excelled. Martin is a celebrated screen and play write and has been in a number of Broadway shows. The one thing that I loved about Martin is that of all the films he has been in, his character has always been his own name. It’s good to have a quirk.

Little Known Fact: In the famous “face tearing” scene, Martin isn’t doing the tearing. Those are Spielberg’s hands. Funny, eh?

I would like to take a moment to thank Ronnie Scribner who played little vampire Glick boy in the made for TV series of 1979, Salem’s Lot. Because of the three minute scene where he floats to the window and bites his brother, I have missed many nights of sleep. Even today at age 30, when I hear a weird noise outside I immediatley think of his evil little smile. God.

Ronnie had quite a career as a child star from 1978 to ’82 but nothing after. It’s funny to read about his ABC morning specials. Do you remember those? They were the hour long shows that aired about 11pm after all the cartoons were over. I think the last time I saw one was when “The Land Of The Lost” was still on the air. Anyway, Ronnie stopped acting and I can only venture to guess that it was because he either grew out of his cuteness or his parents didn’t want him to have a Hollywood life. Regardless, he now lives in Pasadena with a wife and kids. He is a mortgage broker. A mortgage broker that is still in my nightmares.

“Braaaaiiiiinssss” And this is Tarman. When I first saw Return Of The Living Dead I was about 12 years old. Too young to appreciate the campy humor of the film but old enough to appreciate the choreographed walk of the Tarman. I was both disturbed but mesmerized by his skeletal stride. Was it really a human behind all that gore? I will let you be the judge. Watch and see…

It’s hard to imagine that a person was behind all that in our age of CGI but I will remind you that this was back in 1985. Back when movies were fun.

Well, the guy behind Tarman is the great puppeteer, Allan Trautman. He has been in many films but more notably he has been behind the scenes in such great Henson productions like “Muppets Tonight” and the famous early 90’s sitcom, “Dinosaurs”. He received his BA in both Drama and physics and I say that makes for the right character to portray the Tarman.

“Hey creep, speed kills.” You didn’t think I was going to write a “where did you go” Halloween article without including Halloween, did you? of course not! I think I am going to give a little nod and hat tip to Nancy Kyes (aka. Nancy Loomis) who played the cute and sarcastic character, Annie Brackett. And she did an amazing job proving the smart girls were susceptible to death in  horror movies and that girls in the 70’s never wore a bra.

I think Nancy had a close friendship to John Carpenter because she was in Assault on Precinct 13, Halloween 1-3, The Fog, and The Twilight Zone. All Carpenter’s work. I guess her real life sarcasm got her far with him but after 1992 she stopped working on the silver screen. I always wonder why people make the decision to leave from such a full career but I guess everyone has their reasons. She has a family and resides in LA as a sculpture. I think she is still smoking.

“Dude, you getting a Dell!” Remember this guy? It’s Steve, the boy next door that is always trying to talk his parents into buying him a Dell computer. Actually it is Ben Curtis and his small spot as the main face of Dell lasted right up until he was arrested for possession of marijuana. And that sucks too because if you are going to trash your career, go out with crack.

Ben ended up on top anyway ( so to speak). He came out of the closet and is in a very successful Broadway play. It’s gay play call Joy and it had rave reviews. He graduated from NY University and is now the front man to the band WHALE. I’d say getting canned for smoking weed was the best thing to happen to the dude from Dell.

*I don’t know why I included Ben in the Halloween post.*

Well, that is all I want to write. I think this Halloween edition was a little light but I still learned a little. And I hope you did too. Happy Halloween, deary.

Part 9

I have really been slacking on these, haven’t I? Oh well. It’s not like hundreds of people are waiting on an update or anything. Besides, I think if I added to the ‘where did you go’ page every month I may run out of people. Then I’ll have to start getting personal, calling out old elementary school chums like Danny P. who shit himself while playing the game “Red Light Green Light”. Makes you wonder how he turned out?

images1Lar Park Lincoln (Laurie Jill Park) is one of those actresses that everyone recognizes but few can put their finger on where they know her from. But not me! She was the hottest actress in the late 80’s and even though I thought her name was Ms. Hottie McHot Boobs, her career really flourished as a serious actress. Especially in the big budget but campy horror flicks like House II and Friday the 13th VII. You know that those type of movies impress me.

Lar also had a very busy TV career as well to include her long time role on Knots Landing, Tour of Duty, Hunter, Outlaws, Freddy’s Nightmares and of course…Murder She Wrote. I swear that very actor of the 80’s had to appear in an episode of Murder, She Wrote.  In fact, I’m going to temporarily post a new page, just to prove my point.

Lar is still working hard on the Hollywood front in acting, directing and as an author. Sadly, she is currently in a battle with breast cancer so I am sending her good vibes VeggeiMacabre style by burning a picture of what I think cancer looks like.

001155_3Aubree Miller? Who is Aubree Miller? Well, if you where a crack level Star Wars addict kid like I was then you are quite aware of who Ms. Miller is. She played Cindel, the daughter of Mr. and Mrs. Towani in the made for TV movie The Ewok Adventure (1984) and The Battle For Endor (1985). I can remember going out of my mind when finding out there was an extension to the Star Wars saga that I could watch from the comforts of the couch, snuggling with a Hasbro X-Wing and eating 3PO cereal.

To be honest, I haven’t seen these episodes in 20 plus years so I can’t tell you much about them other than what is on IMDB. I can, however, say that  Wilford Brimley has a staring role in the second one and that by default makes it worth watching. But poor Aubree’s career never branched from Endor. Her only time in the lime light was the two Ewok mini-movies and you know what? That’s okay. It’s better to burn out than fade away, Aubree. Currently she is making Comic Con like appearances and living a normal life in Chico, Cali. Here she is today and sadly, I’m a year older than her. Goddamn it.

eric-dan-aubree-nhu-2005I can’t figure out who the two on the left are. I’m going out on a limb and say fans.

CORRECTION! The two on the RIGHT are Eric Walker and his lovely wife, Nhu Walker. Eric played Cindel’s older brother, Mace Towani in the Ewok movie. So disregard the question mark because I didn’t do my homework very thoroughly. Sorry about that, Mr and Mrs Walker! Eric, you ruled as Mace Towani!

marilynmanson-gal-mythsYou know this was a long time coming. It’s Josh Saviano who played Paul Pfeifer from one of the greatest suburbia melodramas set in the late 60’s, The Wonder Years. I always had a connection with Paul. Perhaps it was the asthma/allergy open mouth breathing Paul always seemed to be doing. I was the sickly kid in school that was forced to buy apple juice in the milk line you know.

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Well, unfortunately Josh didn’t grow up to be Marilyn Manson like I believed up until a year ago. Now I am completely confused by the lyrics in the song, “Dope Show”. I imagined it to be the episode when Kevin and Paul learned about the female reproductive system in gym. I am rambling again. Anyway, Josh is an attorney now in NYC after attending Yale. Although he didn’t act after The Wonder Years, which was 99% of his Hollywood career, Milhouse on the Simpson’s was based off his character and he was on Reading Rainbow. Both pretty amazing, I must say.

8486273_111126054158I ask people all the time if they can name Bobcat Goldthwiat’s brother in the film, One Crazy Summer. So far, no one. But I can. And the only reason for that is for the longest time I thought they cast someone opposite of Bobcat’s character who detracted from his struggling vocal chords and twitchy movements. They needed someone who was…well…slightly “touched” or what they call  here in northern Idaho, a “slow-roller”. I really did think that Tom Villard, pictured above, was retarded. But nope! He wasn’t.

Tom was best known from his role in the 1980’s drama,” We’ve Got It Made” but he will always be known to me as Egg Stoke’s brother in the classic, One Crazy Summer. Once you are in an older John Cusack movie, you’ve pretty much made it in my eyes.

I tried finding a current picture of Tom but it turns out he’s dead. I hate finding things out this way. Unfortunately he succumbed to complications from the AID’s virus in 1994 and left us way too early. Sorry I thought you were retarded Tom. 😦

Part 10

Are you ready for another installment of “Where Did You Go”? No? Well, too  bad because I have the microphone so YOU WILL LISTEN TO EVERY WORD I HAVE TO SAY. Sorry.

newlander and feldmanIt’s the Frog brothers from the movie Lost boys! Actually it is Jamie Newlander and Corey Feldman. We all know how Corey is doing so we can skip that half-stack and move on to Jamie; the real lost boy. It’s funny to watch this movie and see those two act as “tough vampire killers” brandishing stakes and talking in ridiculously low voices.

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Besides The Lost Boys, Jamie hasn’t done too much other than the 1988 remake of The Blob, an after school special, and producing some other films here and there. He did make an appearance on the reality train wreck, Two Coreys. And even better news, IDBM has him scheduled for a Lost Boys 3. I am looking forward to that because from what I heard about Lost Boys: The Tribe, it can only get better.

2314598065_d79211639bTWWWOOO WEEEKKKSSS! Man, did this part of Total Recall blow my mind. And to be honest, really disturbed me. Priscilla Allen, (seen above) hit a home run in her freak out role as the malfunctioning costume that went haywire on Arnold. I suppose it’s just my weird thing with seizures.

priscilla allenThis sucks. Priscilla left us back last year after a long fight with cancer. I hate learning this while writing these but I guess that’s how we find out. As a native Sad Diego gal she really spent most of her life there as a drama student turned teacher. She had a few roles including Total Recall, The Naked Truth, Let Others Suffer and above all else a couple episodes of “Happy Days”. She mainly taught and did live performances. I am sorry that we lost you Priscilla. I am also sorry you were cast as the “fat lady” in Total Recall. But I will never think of a fortnight the same.

2290006229_d0a1ac110b“Here’s a quarter. Go downtown and have a rat gnaw that thing off your face. Good day, Madam.”

There are people who play small parts in movies that really can make scenes memorable. Mrs. Hogarth was one of them. When she was chewed out by John Candy in the movie Uncle Buck for referring to his niece as a silly-heart, you can’t help but applaud. The kid was classic in that scene too.

people2Man, Suzanna Shepherd has made a great career at being the grumpy grandma. I think her role in Good Fellas stuck with me and maybe it’s just that she reminded me so much of my own Grandmother on my Mom’s side. You know the type…(love you Grandma!) Anywho, she has been around town and has done amazing work. She is not the most obscure actress on the “where did you go” thing I have been doing but I just haven’t seen her around. Actually, I kind of thought she was chilling with Priscilla.

noahsmitEnter Taran Noah Smith: the youngest of the Taylor family in the hit 90’s comedy,  Home Improvement. Back in the day, Taran, who played the character Mark Taylor, was the cute little brother that fell pray to his mischievous older brothers. He was kind of the naive child that lived under the protection of Jill and try as he may, Tim couldn’t make him tough. But as the years progressed, Mark morphed from an innocent cute kid to a gangly goth goof. And really, in real life Taran did the same thing. My how life can imitate art.

who-was-on-home-improvement-taran-noah-smithWell, Taran’s career after Home Improvent never really florished. He married a woman 16 years his senior, sued his parents for his trust fund and started his own Vegan/Organic restruant called Playfood in California. Sadly he divorced and his home has been foreclosed and I believe Playfood went tits up. Oh yeah, I read he returned home to his parents house. Ouch. Good luck, Taran!

The_HitchhikerI think Rob Zombie said it best when he commented on the actors in the 1974 Texas Chainsaw Massacre. “Are these actors or did Tobe Hooper hire crazy people for this film? Man, these crazy people sure can act.”

I think the actor Edwin Neal has always been the one horror film actor that truly chilled me. Playing ‘The Hitchhiker”, his body movements to shifty eyes and crazy twitching movements, almost as if he was in the mid stages of muscular dystrophy, he nailed the one person you would never want to pick up on the side of the road.

edwin_nealEdwin has had a pretty long career after TCM. He did JFK with Oliver Stone and My Boyfriend’s Back. Most of his success as of late has come from his voiceovers to foriegn animation films and even Japanese pheonomenon action shows like the Power Rangers. Who knew, you know?

The cool thing about this guy is the fact he was awarded the bronze star with valor during the Vietnam War. I remember an interview he did about the filming of the Texas Chainsaw Massacre and he recalled it being as horrific as some of his war experiences. Now that’s a crazy horror movie! Oh yeah, he also resides in Texas to this day. Nice.

starThat’s Xur. He escaped in the movie The Last Starfighter. He set up a sequal and they never came through. Fuck that and fuck Xur. I am so bitter about that let down I could care less who the guy played Xur is. So that’s that. Stay tuned for part 11. I’ll get to it.

Part 11

Here we are, turned all the way up to eleven. Tell me where that line comes from and I will give you 400 gorka gabbas. If you don’t know what those are they are my own currency that I plan on flooding into the economy. So you will be ahead of the game! What was I talking about?

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We will start off with the bread winner for the Tanner family in one of my favorite shows of the 80’s, ALF. Max Wright played Willie Tanner, a meek social worker that is constantly pushed to the edge by an ADD alien named ALF. I always tuned in on Monday nights, sitting in my GI Joe’s (themed PJs) nervously waiting the moment when Willie snapped and back-handed Kate or hammer punch Benji in the nose. Of course it never happened and Willie kept his cool, even when Alf dug a pool in the backyard garden.

Max hasn’t been in the TV or film circuit in the past 10 years. Partly because of his diagnosis with lymphoma and his run in with a few mailboxes resulting in a DUI arrest. On the lymphoma he has been in remission but the duey, I’m afraid Max plead guilty. Dag, yo. He has been in many TV episodes throughout the 80’s like Tales From The Darkside, WKRP in Cincinnati, MASH, and even was in the first couple episodes of Friends as the Central Perk’s manager. But ALF was his only real main role for TV. As far as his other acting roles he has been in such movies as Soul Man, Grumpier Old Men and The Sting II. His live theater acts like Broadway actually led to a Tony for IVANHO. Who knew Willie would win a Tony?

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Max currently resides in California with his wife, Linda and their two kids Ben and Daisy. I suppose he is doing well and waiting, like the rest of us, for an ALF comeback. But that can’t happen until ALF puts down the pipe and sticks with his rehab.

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You think that cookie looks like Anne Ramsey? Fuck’n eh, it does! But really, I think it looks more like this below from Big Trouble In Little China. Either way, you can’t eat something that cool.

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So yeah, Anne Ramsey was an icon in the film industry. At least the film industry that interests me. Her most memorable roles to me were The Goonies, Mamma Fratelli and Throw Mamma From The Train. Can you believe she was nominated for an Oscar for that? Too bad she past away from throat cancer before the nominations were rewarded. Regardless her list of roles were plenty and in all reality she didn’t start her film career until late in life.

I remember being a little scared of her as a kid. I think it was the gruff appearance and her “after stroke” way of talking. To this day my friends and I quote “Quiet, you lashey poop!”. That was from Throw Mamma From The Train.

She was married to the actor Logan Ramsey but her career really took off after his death. She has been in a number of great films like Scrooged, Any Which Way You Can and National Lampoon’s Class Reunion to name a few. But to me her most memorable role and sadly her last was a cranky old lady in ALF. Strange how that ties in. RIP Anne.

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Alison Parker. Who is Alison Parker, you ask? That is a good question because unless you have seen the 1977 movie, The Sentinel, you wouldn’t have a clue. I have researched quiet a bit and came up with very little. And I find that strange because her only role is a staring one and she shares it with many famous actors and actresses like Christopher Walken, Chris Sarandon, Ava Gardner, Eli Wallach, Tom Berenger, Jeff Goldblum, Richard Dryfuss, and many more. Where did she go? But I guess that’s my job to know, huh?

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I think I need to keep these next two in character. Above is Ben Gardner in the movie Jaws. Actually he is a real fisherman that inspired Shaw’s character Quint, but that’s neither here nor there. Ben has an on going role in the movie but is rarely seen. Known as the local fisherman he pokes fun of the visiting frenzy of fisherman stating “…they’ll wish their mothers had never met their fathers when they start slamming into those rocks…” and other such witty jaunts. But there is one thing that puzzles me. How did he die?

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See? Did Jaws just eat one eye? Did he trip and stick it on something sharp? Did Jaws spit his head back in the boat? Who knows? I smell fowl play.

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Much like Ben “Headintheboat” Gardner, Ben Trammer of Halloween one and two has an ongoing but rarely seen role too. In the first Halloween Ben and Laurie had a thing. Well, as much as two shy nerds do, anyway. But poor Ben made the mistake of being a William Shatner fan much like Mike Myers was and dressed just like him on that night. What are the odds? To good in my mind. In any case, Ben is seen above fleeing Loomis who is having an episode only to be hit, crushed, exploded and burned to death by….a deputy of the law.

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Laurie was right. Ben is kind of hot. Ohhhhhh….

I didn’t really have a question about Ben but I do find it very uncreative of the screen writers to dress Ben up as a blond Michael Myers. I mean, did Ben off a tow truck driver too? Meh, I am thinking too hard about this again. S knows what I mean.

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Real nice, Loomis. Real nice.

Part 12:

Man,  I havn’t done one of these for a while. Actually, I haven’t done much of anything on here for a while. And for that, I am sorry. So to make amends, I am writing this pants-less with large foam sombrero on my head. The things I do for you people. Now let’s get down to business.

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“Graaaaaaaaace!” Holy shit, this lady is one of my favorites. It is Edie McClurg, the round, bubbly, chipper mid-western lady that occasionally will drop an F-bomb. Everything about her, I love.  And it is not just because she has been in John Hughes films. Although that is a big part. What am I talking about? Between Ed Rooney’s secretary role and her role in Planes Trains and Automobiles, she can do no wrong with me. In fact, even if those were her only two times on the silver screen, she would still be a huge star to me.

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But even though she rocked the last half of the eighties, her type-cast didn’t hold her back from continuing a very busy career all the way to today. She started satirical acting at a young age and was even a voice in the 1960’s cartoon The Jetsons. (How awesome would it be if she was Astro?) Her first real movie role was Carrie an since then she has been in John Hughes’ films,  Oliver Stone’s Natural Born Killers, voice overs for Pixar movies and numerous of TV shows like Small Wonders, Diff’ent Strokes, Mr. Belvedere, Sienfeld, Rosanne and so many others. Oddly enough she was never in an episode of Murder She Wrote. There goes that theory. But still, her role as Grace the secretary made her what she is for me today: a sex symbol I am not proud of. Rowr…

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If you look close, that is Edie in the shower. Yeah, I need to get out more.

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I forget who requested Wyatt from Weird Science but here you go. His real name is Ilan Mitchell and was discovered by a talent agent at a ballet studio in Massachusetts. Yeah, speaking of weird. From then he went on to a brief but successful acting career including, of course, Weird Science, The Chocolate War, the TV series Superboy and few others. To be perfectly honest, I only remember him as Wyatt and have very fuzzy memories of Superboy. But that is okay because…

41he wasn’t meant to be an actor but rather a real life professor.

It’s true, Ilam went from Weird Science to Weird-Beard and also…total…denim. Sorry, that distracted me. What was I saying? Ah yes, Ilam is married with two kids and is an assistant professor of English. Oddly enough his wife never knew of his acting career until one day she confessed to loving The Chocolate War. That is when Ilam not only confessed to loving The Chocolate War as well but also to staring in it. TA DA! I don’t know what is more disturbing; being married to the star of your favorite movie and not knowing it or not knowing you’re married to the star of the John Hughes 1986 classic, Weird Science. Either way, that is a great excuse for domestic violence.

Chris Burke03aPlease don’t think that I am about to do what you think I am. I am actually curious to see what Chris Burke, who played Corky Thatcher in the early 1990’s hit show Life Goes On, is up to today. And looking to IBDM for a reference it seems that Chris has been on a few other shows like ER and Touched By An Angle. There are others but to be honest, if the role he plays in Life Goes On, Touched By An Angle  and ER is the same, is it worth listing? That’s what I thought too.

I might be alone on this but did it piss anyone off that his family nicknamed him “Corky” on Life Goes On? If you have a downs syndrome kid, don’t give him a fucking nickname. Especially if it is cute and ends in a “Y”. AT LEAST Chris was able to rise above it. In an interview he said:

People said I could never become an actor because I’m retarded. It goes to show you that anyone can make their dreams a reality… unless they’re brain dead.

Holy Fuck.

In my quest to see what Chris is up to, I found this on YouTube and had to sit for awhile after. There are somethings that leave me unable to add anything to them. This is one of those times. If there are small children in the room, you might want to ask them to leave now.

So…anyone for a chip? Yeah, I lost my appetite too.

//

Part 13: X-Mas Addition

Tis the season to be watching tons of the most merry programing and movies Hollywood has to offer. Even though I consider the Halloween season to be the most anticipated time of the year for fun TV, the Christmas season is arguably the most popular. Why I say this is because of all the cable channels that are 100% dedicated to the Holidays like AMC, Hallmark, Lifetime, ABC Family, QVC and TMC. Plus, Christmas movies outnumber any other holiday movies probably 51,687,342 to 1. So today I am going to pick a few of the 51,687,342 Christmas movies and see what the actors are up to today. I hope there are not too many dead.

“Stuck? Stuuuck? STUUUUUCCCKKK!!!”

Poor Flick. The kid that proved sticking your tongue to a flagpole is not an urban legend like previously believed. His role in the Christmas movie to end all Christmas movies, The Christmas Story, was really a prominent role to me. I think it was because he captured what kids were really like and that was his high pitch, shrill screams he belted. Bravo Scott Schwartz!

Holy Jingle Bells! Since his most famous role as Flick, it looks like Scott Schwartz has gotten his tongue stuck on more things than a flagpole. Unbelievably so, Scott made a pretty good run in the porn business through the 90’s. It never ceases to amaze me when writing these “catch up” articles what a few of these childhood stars delve into. But to be fair, he has done other things like his other famous role in The Toy and many after school specials. Today he runs a card shop with his dad and still acts in lower budget movies. His porn star days look like they have gone the way of the Dodo. I mean he is only 5 foot 6 so how impressive could he be? I’m just stating what others think.

“I am not a piece of undigested potato, you fucking dick-hole warrior!”

I don’t know if I quoted that completely accurate but I think I am pretty close. Anyway, Frank Finlay played the ghostly assistant to Scrooge (George C. Scott), Marley in the 1984 made for TV movie Charles Dickens’ A Christmas Carol. And holy holly shit, Marley scared the nog out of me. Really though, that part of the story was always the most unnerving. Much more than the Ghost Of Christmas Yet To Come.

Frank is one of those actors that has been a film legend but has not been privy in my limitless film knowledge because, well, that knowledge is reserved for films like Flight Of The Navigator and Mega Shark 3 (director’s cut). No, Frank is a “serious” British actor that has been in so many films, plays and TV specials from the 1950’s to present, I couldn’t read off the list without taking a pee break. But in that whole list that I am not willing to type, I really only recognized a few like The Pianist, Life Force (amazing space vampire movie) and The Three Musketeers followed a year later by The Four Musketeers (no idea). So with that, thanks Frank. Thanks for scaring the figgy pudding out of me on the most joy-est day of the year.

“Dinosaurs are always linked to the birth of Christ” (Almost made that 10, Norb)

I don’t know if you will remember the “Claymation Christmas Special” but if you do, you will be just as outraged as I am that this isn’t a Christmas classic like “Merry Christmas Charlie Brown” or” How The Grinch Stole Christmas”. No, this amazing TV special died with the dawn of Pixar animation because let’s face it; claymation takes artistic talent and computer geeks out number them 10 to 1. You can probably find the clay animators working for “Ace of Cakes” or something.

So where are our hosts Rex and Douches-Tricer-whocaresish?

Like you didn’t already know that?

“Santa, there is a little boy who wears bear sweaters and corduroy pants that lives in Marietta, Georgia. I think his style is amazing and I totally want to go steady with a guy like that.”

That was actually in the 1985 movie Santa Clause and the actress Carrie Kei Heim said that. I think they edited it out in the TV formated version but I remember it.

Seriously though, I had a huge crush on the young actress as a kid. And if you are a 31-year-old straight male that remembers 1985, you did too. Unfortunately she wasn’t in too many other movies other than Parent Trap II and a few TV programs like “Pippi Longstocking” and “The Equilizer”. No matter, though because she has a successful life as a lawyer, wife and mother of one in Boston. I like learning that child actors have another destiny besides being a guest on “The Smoking Gun TV show”.

That’s where I am going to leave this addition of “Where Did You Go” for the 2009 Christmas season. We learned that Flick’s pole licking led him to a carrier in pornography, Marley is arguably the scariest of the ghosts in The Christmas Carol (except for Goofy), Claymation is awesome and the only way for a comeback is to go buy your own Play-do set, and the cute girl in Santa Clause grew up to be boring and a lawyer. So that means she is damned to Hell. Well, that’s pretty interesting.

Part 14 : FOOD?

There are literally hundreds of retro food blogs out there that list every possible snack, soda, TV dinner, candy and fast food that has been discontinued in the history of ever. Some even track down the original item and have them in possession for pictures and possibly a daring taste test some 15 years after expiration. To those people who are that devoted to the dead sodas and snack crackers of the world, I commend you. I am not that devoted. But, I will write my own personal thoughts and memories of some of these deceased items so you can get a little taste of my opinions as I bitch and moan over why I have cognitive haunts about a drink I haven’t tasted in 20 years.

The Item: I was a lucky to be of the perfect age for the invention of the fruit snack. As a young kid, there was nothing better than to witness the combination of candy and snack. Fun Fruits and Fruit Rollups were about as amazing as fire to a caveman for a six-year-old. It was our heroine and we had to have it. Poor Mom was never allowed to go to the grocery store without bringing home a box and if we were with her on that chore, there was always a scene. “But they have vitamin C! THEY HAVE VITAMIN CEEEEEEEE!

Gone are the days when fruit snacks looked like deer shit and came in flavors like orange and cherry. No, nowadays they all have to have themes and familiar shapes to kids as if buying X-Men fruit snacks tasted any different from Barbie ones. These particular snacks have morphed into 3 feet long rolled up strips, snacks filled with goo, temporary tattoos for the tongue, stack-able cut outs, and formed into every Disney character ever created. I saw this coming in 1988 with the introduction of Shark Bites. I knew the simple days were through. The death of Fruit Corners died a quiet death, but I will still shed a tear.

The Item: Candilicious is not a stripper. I just wanted to make that clear because in search for the picture above, I was exposed to many of these dancers. That is a big distraction when waxing childhood nostalgia.

No, this was a great late 80’s candy that proved the mentality of my childhood was always bigger = better. Perhaps it was that my mandibular suck-hole was smaller but I remember almost choking every time I ate this. Imagine the taste of Starbusts, softer than Now and Laters and bigger than Laffy Taffy and you have Candilicious. It was a Bubbalicious product and in some ways it was the answer to my wish of swallowing my gum at the zenith point of it’s taste. I imagine 5 out of 5 dentists agree this candy should be not only discounted but wiped from all memory completely. But I remember. Nice try tooth nazis.

The Item: Burples might just be an item that history forgot. Perhaps it was the fact that the fruit drink was shockingly potent or maybe the futuristic attraction of the recently released Capri Sun, the Burples just never made a lasting impression. The bottle came collapsed with a powdered inside and all you needed to do was add water. If memory serves me right, it fizzed and expanded the accordion shaped bottle, but that might be in my head. The finished result meant a sugar high so intense, it will cause you to race around the house, slip on the linoleum and crack your head open on the kitchen counter.

The cool thing about these deceased drinks is that somewhere, buried deep in the two decade layered landfill, the non biodegradable containers still remain. A tribute to the 1980 consumer and our foresight beyond mutually assured destruction. Burples!

The Item: Five Alive was a staple in the house growing up and it was always in the condensed frozen can you see above. I can actually close my eyes and remember wrestling with the damn plastic strip that kept the metallic cap on. Then squeezing the can over the pitcher and watch it poop the orange/yellow concentrate in a slow sounding ‘schloooop’. There was a certain satisfaction of “making” juice, even if it just meant pouring in three cans of cold water and stirring. But there were a few times Dad would spit a large glop of frozen 5 Alive back into his glass. That’s what you get for putting a 7-year-old on juice duty.

I believe 5 Alive is still out there among the various juices and as an adult I am not sure if I would buy it. I remember not really liking it as a kid. Maybe it was the lime and grapefruit combination that had me wincing while watching ABC morning cartoons. What’s wrong with plain old O.J.?

The Item: The PB Max is..er…was amazing. Not only was it a brick of a candy bar but it would simultaneously enlarge your ass, give you type one diabetes and destroy the ability to whistle for a year. I heard a guy who had a peanut allergy one time walked into a gas station that sold PB Max’s and his lips, hands and feet exploded.

I can understand why PB Max’s died like Ryan White because eating half of a jar of peanut butter in one sitting is pretty amazing. Even for a candy bar. Plus it is a mess. It’s like a rapidly melting brownie filled with something that will smell up a minivan for years to come.

The Item: All the cereals of the 80′ and 90’s that had a link to either cartoons, video games or candy are pretty much dead. Long gone are the days when you could come out of the fort you built in the den and chow down on cereal with crushed lollipops and sugared marshmallow sugary sugars. No, the FDA says that they can’t use such marketing ploys to kill off kids, increase the medical insurance debacle, and cause adult depression linked to childhood obesity and repressed memories of mean skinny kids who sang “fatboy fatboy, why ya so fat? Cake on the lips, jelly in the gut, BIG BUTT!” Fuck you Sugar Bear. Look what you have done.

Now we have Grapenuts. With neither grapes nor nuts. I get no respect. Respect is niiiiice.

For real reviews of snacks and junk food you should… no… have to check out Matt’s articles.  These are classics. Peace and love.

11 Dead Sodas

Freezer Finds

Garfield Snacks

American Gladiator Bars

Part 15: Mothers

Man, it has been a while since I have written a “Where Did You Go” post. So, as I sit at the work station for Wake Forrest Medical School waiting for them to redo their entire database I think I will use this time to be productive. Let me pay homage to the ones who birthed some of the cinemas greatest characters. And by moms, I mean the ones I care about and probably no one else does.

Lane Meyer’s mom in the movie, Better Off Dead, is about as amazing of a character as you can get. Her complete absence from reality, alternative homemaking skills and her unrelenting sweetness makes her so enjoyable to watch I just wish she could have had more of a dominating role in the film. Let’s see…she wanted to cutback the grease of bacon so she boiled it, dressed as a reindeer on Christmas morning, bought Lane a stack of TV dinners for his Christmas present, improvised a recipe that was wet from the rain and cooked something to life, and invited the neighbors to dinner to welcome the new French foreign exchange student to America by making French food. You know…”fronch fries, fronch bread, fronch dressing..”? Simply amazing. She was perfectly balanced dumb, ignorant, crazy and sweet. She’s like the buddy’s mom in high school who you could get to buy you beer but never did because the thought of hurting her feelings was not worth the fun. I love her.

Played by actress Kim Darby, she has had a long career dating back to the 60’s and has been in many TV shows like Murder She Wrote (shocker) the 1970’s classic Fantasy Island and films to include a major role in True Grit with John Wayne and was Debra Strode in the hilarious Halloween: Curse of Michael Myers. She has been nominated for an Emmy and a few Golden Globes in her time and has had a long career teaching acting at UCLA. Currently she resides in LA and was married to James Stacy who was the bartender in the evil Disney movie Something Wicked This Way Comes. All in all, I know her best as that wack-a-do Mrs. Meyer who played an amazing role as mother to Lane and Badger Meyer, in Better Off Dead and that is why she is top of this list.

Oh boy Nancy’s mom, Marge Thompson, from the 1984 Nightmare On Elm Street was an inflatable dartboard when it came to being a parent but when it came to handling a child molester, she was got shit done. This chick lit the dude on fire and took his glove as a souvenir. It almost worked too had he not, you know, come back in the dreams of kids and killed them in their sleep. Doh!

The reason she is on this list is because of her complete naiveté and her love of all things vodka. Even when her daughter woke up from a nightmare in a hospital and produced the hat of Freddy Krueger, she was still in denial! Also she taught us the hazards of smoking in bed:

And doors can be used creatively.

The woman who played this drunken, twice killed, and living in denial mother is the great Ronee Blakely who almost won an Academy Award for her role in the movie Nashville, loosely based on the story of Loretta Lynne. She had been in a few films and TV shows through the 1970’s to 90’s but besides Nightmare to Elm Street, I only really care that she was in the Tales From The Darkside episode, “The False Prophet”, appeared in the forgettable 1987 Return to Salem’s Lot and sang back up vocals to Bob Dylan’s song “Hurricane”. Other than that, she will always be the lady who funneled vodka and sort of killed Freddy Krueger.

Diane Freeling from the movie Poltergeist is probably my favorite movie mom for a couple of reasons. One, she is just cool and hip. She seems like the mom who brings cupcakes to Carolan’s classroom, buy’s Robbie the cool sneakers that all the kids are wearing, makes sure Dana has condoms before she goes on a date because we all know she was pretty loose in the movie and remember to keep cold Coor’s beers in the fridge with tightly rolled joints for when Steve gets home from a hard day of work. Two, I love the way she didn’t lose her shit like I would have when this happened:

I would have “Hiesman-ed” over Carolan on my way out the door.

Diane Freeling was played by the beautiful JoBeth Williams and she is no stranger to brilliant acting. She made her debut just a couple of months before Poltergeist with Dustin Haufman in Kramer v Kramer and went on to do a number of big films like The Big ChillPoltergeist II, and the Tim Allen abortion known as Jungle 2 Jungle. (Never trust a film, music group or insurance company with a number representing a preposition) Also she was most famous in the late 1970’s and early 80’s as her soap career as Brandy in the show Guiding Light. And know you know. Oh! And when I was looking up info on JoBeth the first site that came up was from Wikifeet; a whole site dedicated to celebrity feet photos.

We are going to end this one on a high note, folks! Good ol’ Doris from the movie we all love, Night of the Comet. She is the cliché mom we all hate. It’s obvious that she isn’t the birth mother to the two girls in the movie because she plays the role of a wicked stepmother to the T! Married to their dad who is a Green Beret on deployment to Honduras, she is throwing a comet party and letting every guy in the neighborhood get a free ride (if you know what I mean). Well, the youngest smart-ass girl gets a little pissed off when she sees her stepmom flirting with the neighbor, Chuck, and lets loose with one of the greatest lines in cinema history: “Jesus, Doris. You were born with an asshole you don’t need Chuck.” That line resulted in this series of events.

The lesson? Don’t slap in a punching contest. But don’t worry, Doris gets turned into Tang right after this scene.

Doris was brilliantly played by Sharon Farell and what a ride this lady had! She has been in Hollywood acting since 1959 and has been on such shows as My Three Sons, Matlock, THE VERY FIRST EPISODE OF ALFRED HITCHCOCK PRESENTS, Freddy’s Nightmares and Emergency. Her movie roles were pretty extensive too but besides Night of the Comet the only other one I really care about is It’s Alive where she played the mother to Satan. Which, if this was another blog that would have taken the cake for her movie-mother roles. But not this one so go suck one!

I’m sorry. Don’t do that. You know I love you.

Part 16: Kids of Horror!

Adding to the long page of “where did you goes” here comes another segment that lets people like us spy on people like them. And by them I mean stars that no one links to look for. It’s a strange hobby of mine but it keeps me from my other hobby; shopping cart racing. So let’s kick this diddy into off with a little known film from a little know director called Stanley Kubrick.

Well, well, well…it’s Danny Torrence (Danny Lloyd) from the greatest Stephen King book turned Stanley Kubrick film, The Shining. This is one of my favorites and it is so hard to say why. Even people who hate horror movies tend to really like this film. It’s as mysterious as the bear suited person going down on that guy when Shelly Duval is running around like a moron wielding a 3 foot knife with jelly wrists. (horrible sentence) But there is one character that is just cute as a button!! Little Danny with the boy who lives in his mouth, Tony, have the Shining; a psychic gift that proves helpful when his father (Jack Nicholas) loses his shit and tries to “correct” them. And by “correct” I mean chopping them to bits with an ax. Danny saves his mother (Shelly Duval) and himself by losing the deranged psycho in a frozen maze and they ride to safety in a snow cat.

Sorry for the recap of a movie more famous than refrigerator but really, besides a made for TV movie in 1982, Danny Lloyd never worked in Hollywood again. I guess he grew up as a normal kid and The Shining became just something he did in 1979. If that was me, I am pretty sure my girlfriend would snap at the end of each day with, “We know! We all know you were in The Shining! You don’t have to tell everyone you meet!”

Turns out Danny grew up an above average dude and resides in Missouri teaching high school science. And from those who had the pleasure of interviewing him they say he is very private but extraordinarily nice. I say a class act and only does signing events for charity. Tony on the other hand, total jackass. Heard he’s in a methadone clinic dating Heidi Fleiss’s thumb.

Of all the movies that I write about in this series of “Where Did They Go” on a scale of 1-10 , Pet Semetery ranks as a òó. That’s two angry zeros. This movie made me throw an apple at my TV a couple years ago. I am not ashamed to say that. But that’s not what I am here to write about, I am here to write about Jared Rushton who played the most supreme asshole, Clyde Parker, but it’s okay. He was beating up Edward Furlong and somebody needed to.

Jared had an amazing career through the last part of the 80’s and most of the 90’s. From Disney’s Honey I Shrunk The Kids to Big, it looked like Jared’s career was rocketing with no end in sight. That is until 200o when he dropped from Hollywood altogether. But you know what happens when guys like Danny Cooksey, Edward Furlong and now Jared Rushton do when life on the big screen gets downgraded to a one star Netflix pick? That’s right. They join a band. Jared sings and plays guitar  for Deal By Dusk. I wonder if they do a rendition from Big? You know…

“The space goes down, down baby, down, down the roller coaster. Sweet, sweet baby, sweet, sweet, don’t let me go. Shimmy, shimmy, cocoa pop. Shimmy, shimmy, rock. Shimmy, shimmy, cocoa pop. Shimmy, shimmy, rock. I met a girlfriend – a triscuit. She said, a triscuit – a biscuit. Ice cream, soda pop, vanilla on the top. Ooh, Shelly’s out, walking down the street, ten times a week. I read it. I said it. I stole my momma’s credit. I’m cool. I’m hot. Sock me in the stomach three more times.”

God I am a tool.

Okay, I know that the movie Close Encounters of the Third Kind is not a horror movie but the scene when Barry (Cary  Guffey) is abducted is about as scary as any horror movie around. Just the thought of red lights and records playing by themselves is enough to make me pee the bed. Please…observe below.

Is it just me or do you think Steven Spielberg picked Cary because he looked just like the aliens that appear later? Just a thought.

Cary isn’t too dissimilar to Danny Lloyd in the fact that he had a brief career as a child actor only doing a few made for TV movies through the late 70’s and early 80’s. Honestly, none worth even mentioning because they are too difficult to find. After his stent in Hollywood he grew up a normal kid and went on to receive a marketing degree from University of Florida, got an MBA, married a girl and is now a financial planner for Merrill Lynch in Alabama. How’s that for normalcy? Good for him.

I have more to write about but to be honest, I am actually filming a hot sauce review in a few minutes and I am testing one now. Let’s just say I am sweating through my fingers. Can that happen? Anyway, I can’t type for a bit.

Part 17: Return of the Living Dead

Holy cats! It’s been a bit since I have done one of these and to be honest, I kind of miss searching out obscure actors that only matter to me and seeing what they are up to today? I hope no one has died since I have been writing these though. I hate editing, as you can tell from hundreds of poorly written posts. So lets light some fires and kick some poodles, it’s time for another fun ride on the ever lasting blog of…

As you can see I am trying to be more creative with my look. Is it working for you? Oh…be quiet.

I am going to start this little gem off with Miguel A. Nunez Jr. because he has always been one of my favorites and whenever I am flipping through the five million channels and I see him, I stop. Even if it happens to be Juwanna Mann. 

Miguel has been in a lot of movies and television shows since the early eighties. And when I say a lot, I mean he rivals the IMDb list of guest appearances on Murder She Wrote. But of all these television shows and movies, Miguel had mostly minor roles or at best a secondary character that made only a few episodes as “tough guy #2” or “rough punk” so it seemed he had a bit of a type cast issue until, really, his three-year running with the Vietnam War series, Tour of Duty in the mid-eighties as SGT Marcus Taylor and his starring role as Juwanna Mann in the movie Juwanna Mann. But of all these minor roles he will always be Demon in Friday the 13th: Part 5 and Spider in the ever famous and personal favorite, Return of the Living Dead.

Screen Shot 2013-01-11 at 1.38.25 PM

So what is Miguel up to nowadays? To be honest, it looks like he is doing the same thing he has been doing for the past thirty years and that is cranking out roles and minor appearances in television shows with the latest one in 20012. What can you say? The guy’s a pro and clearly one of my all time favorites. Miguel has also produced a few films like Homeboys In Outer Space (not to be confused with his role in leprechaun 4: In Space which he was in too) and even directed a film. Like I said, he’s a pro!

I will say there is no actor out there with a better list of character names. Here are a few:

JoJo, Biscuit, Blackie, Demon, Spider, Sticks, Royal Jackson, Juwanna Man, Chico, C, Delicious, Tiger, Mo Bitches, Maxey Sparks, Goldie, and Jammin’.

While we are on a theme involving Return of the Living Dead, why not include an actor who has helped me annoy anyone around when I watch a ridiculous movie that is “based on a true story” because I tend to yell “YOU MEAN THE MOVIE LIED?!?!”. Thanks to this guy, Thom Mathews, I have had a plenty of guacamole tossed my way.

Thom is an American born actor who I believe was intended to be named Tom but is appears his parents had a lisp. Thom grew up in LA and it seemed natural that a good-looking kid would end up in the Hollywood trade and he had some pretty amazing roles. And by amazing that means I think they are amazing. I also thing hanging tomato gardens are amazing so take that with a grain of salt.

Thom will always be Freddy, the kid who is poisoned with noxious military gas that turns most anything into a brain-craving zombie in the film,  Return of the Living Dead and also as an adult Tommy Garvis who is tormented by Jason in Friday the 13th: Part 6. Both roles make him a legend to me. But after that he seemed to just have minor roles like Miguel Nunez Jr through the rest of the eighties, nineties and his latest role was in 2009.

Don’t you dare laugh

Thom is a lot like many horror actors of twenty to thirty years ago and that he appears in horror cons and sci-fi cons, keeping one foot in Hollywood and the other in his private life. In the real world he is the owner of a construction company in California. His looks are still there though a bit more debonair because we guys can age well. (That last sentence was a filler) I am curious to see if he is still best buddies with George Clooney that is boasted on most data sites about him. It seems George is the kind of guy that would forget the people who were there on the way up. Either that or it’s just me hating him.

You know what? Fuck it. Let’s run with this theme since there are soooo many awesome people in Return of the Living Dead. Linnea Quigley is absolutely wonderful for many reasons. The most notable one is her character Trash who fantasizes about being felt-up to death by old men and finally strips into a full nude scene in ROTLD. (Sorry, that became repetitive to type). Little did Trash know that is exactly what would happen to her. It’s an awesome character who annoys her boyfriend, Suicide, into stating another great line, “you think this is a fucking costume? This is a way of life!”. But Linnea had other great characters besides Trash and went on to become quite the “scream queen” of that 80’s horror genre.

Growing up in Davenport, Iowa, she moved to LA in the late 1970’s and quickly started into her sexploitation role by becoming a Playboy Flasher Girl and blending into a horror scream queen character starting with Silent Night, Deadly Night and then ROTLD. After that it seemed her path was clear and some of her films after that were Sorority Babes in the Slimerball Bowl-O-Rama, Hollywood Chainsaw Hookers, Night of the Demons, Blood Church, and Spring Break Massacre. One of my personal favorites is a horror workout video from 1990 and wouldn’t you know it, it’s available on YouTube but I have to warn you it is NOT SAFE FOR WORK!!!! BE WARNED. But it is awesome.

Well what is the Scream Queen of my dreams up to today?

Well, Quigley is still being awesome and acting as a scream queen. I love that ! In fact she has three films in post-production right now that should be released in DVD format this year (2013). It’s so refreshing to see someone love what they do and still do it well, even though it has been thirty years of screaming and being slashed by chainsaw wielding zombies. It’s truly what I consider a master of their craft. I think I’m in love.

So the green hand is pointing to the great actor, John Philbin, whose character is the nerdy hipster, Chuck, who couldn’t get laid in a female prison with a fist full of pardons. Growing up his role was easily over-looked with so many other prominent characters but as I learn about him as a grownup (take that lightly) I see he was also a pro surfer and I believe on the set he was anything but a nerd.

His list of movie roles are much like the others which are not really a main character but as a co-starring character. ROTLD was not his first horror movie but his second with Children of the Corn coming in just a year before. Fast forward a couple of years later and John got to imitate real life as a surfer in films like North Shore and Point Break. He also was a cowboy in a personal favorite of mine, Tombstone. I think he is killed in the OK Corral shootout but I could be wrong. Wait, or was he hit over the head with a pistol handle by Sam Elliott? Either way, that’s a pretty cool resume boost.

Screen Shot 2013-01-11 at 3.54.38 PM

John still acts from time to time and if you pay attention you might see him in a random Law and Order show or an episode of SVU…what ever that means. But the coolest thing is John lives in Pacific Palisades California today and runs a surfing school. He’s doing exactly what he loves and does it well. Oh, and when he was at UC Santa Barbra he was on their surf team. THEY HAVE SURF TEAMS IN COLLEGE??? WHY DID I GO TO MARYLAND?!?!

I think I will end this on a high but low note. Suicide is an iconic punk character in ROTLD and everyone loves him. With classic lines like “You think this is a fuckin’ costume? This is a way of life.” and “Hey, fuck you, ballbuster!”, how can one not? Played by actor Mark Venturini, he was like the missing member of the Misfits. He also, like Thom Mathews, was in Friday the 13th: Part 6 as some psycho who was chopping wood but ends up chopping up a retarded fat kid over a chocolate bar. I really liked that scene. Maybe a bit too much?

Kind of a bummer but there are no current pictures or information about Mark because at the age of 35 he passed away from Leukemia. Way too soon for such a great talent. I hate finding out the death of such a great actor that I have been quoting since I was in high school but that is part of writing “where did they go?”. Sometimes you find out sad news.

Thanks for reading part 17 that ended up having a Return of the Living Dead theme. It wasn’t planned but that’s the way the cookie crumbled. Now go watch it! I am.

128 Comments

  1. OMG! I haven’t even finished reading this because I am so excited about seeing Noah Hathaway that I had to comment! I liked Neverending Story, sure, but did you see him in Troll? It came out in ’86 and I watched it every day for months. He plays a kid named Harry Potter (no lie!) and this troll gets summoned by a mood ring and he comes to terrorize this apartment complex so he can turn it into a fairy wonderland complete with a topless Julia Louis-Dreyfus high on pixie dust and he stabs Sonny Bono with troll poison that makes him turn into a garden! I swear! NO ONE KNOWS WHAT I AM TALKING ABOUT!!! NOT EVEN THE MOVIE STORE!!! Everyone I talk to about this thinks I am making it up.

    • OMG I totally remember that movie! I haven’t thought about it in years haha Troll had me freaked out as a kid, but like a car accident, I couldn’t look away and ended up watching it a million times. Now I’m gonna be on a mission to find it. Thanks for reminding me of this long forgotten classic 😀

  2. I’ve seen Troll. I can even picture the movie cover. It’s a Troll with a weird bullseye thing? But yeah, I’ve seen it and now, I want to see it again.

  3. YESS!!!! That bull’s eye thing is the bouncy ball that belongs to the little girl who finds the mood ring, you know, the girl the troll shapeshifts into to fool the midget professor man. They said something ridiculous like “Before there were countries. . .Before there were presidents. . .” when they were introducing the fairy/troll war. Before there were presidents! Well I’ll be!

  4. I always meant to tell you that Twiki is/was indeed real, I read an interview with the little dude that was in that robot suit.
    They used to play some mean jokes on him too, apparntly the suits legs had limited mobility and when the lunch call came in somebody would usually pick him up and place him on the stairs.

    No respect I tell ya.

  5. Awesome…totally awesome!

  6. Thanks my Nizzle!

  7. Hey, I saw on TV that the guy from wierd science, the geeky brunette one, he is a professor now. He is a real geek in real life. I saw a clip of it. He looked really happy being a professor (either math or science, something geeky, lol.) He’s still kinda cute for an older man.

  8. […] Where Did You Go? […]

  9. Dude! I didn’t get any of this until you mentioned Perfect Strangers!!! OMG flashback! Do you remember the episode with the imaginary pterodactyl attack that was just a really big duck or something?

    You didn’t get my obscure actor investigation? 😉 I wish I saw that episode. I really do. I’ll ask on X-entertainment.

  10. this is amazing. I have the same obsession of looking up minor actors and seeings what they do now. I just watched the Burbs again this weekend, and sure enough, was just wikipeding Rick Ducommun yesterday!

  11. More! Please!

    You hooked me at Neverending Story, but it was Small Wonder and Mister Mom that really sealed the deal. Consider me a fan.

    (Oh, and that chick from Halloween. Would someone REALLY strip down and wash their clothes in the laundry if they spilled something on it while babysitting? She was just asking to be slashed, in my opinion.)

    I don’t know The Ewok Adventure, but can you maybe find out what the little girl from The Ewoks Battle for Endor is up to these days?

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  13. […] of 25 and 35 and would like a nostalgic blast from the past, surf on over and check out his ‘Where have you been?‘ posts: a collection of updates on obscure 80’s (and 70’s and 90’s) stars, […]

  14. How do you look for information for your blog content?

    • Um, just internet data bases and phone research. No hook ups. 🙂

  15. Great post. Gives me what I have been looking for.

  16. “A Midnight Clear” is a novel by William Wharton. You’re thinking of Gordon’s adaptation of “Mother Night.”

  17. Here is a recent pic of Aaron Dozier from “Better Off Dead”. The ski instructor piece is only a rumor, he is actually a server at great restaurant in Key West, FL.

    http://juliakstewartsblog.blogspot.com/2008/01/we-certainly-are-better-off.html

    • Really? That’s crazy! I went to the University website to compare profiles and his matched. He’s a waiter in Key West? WoW. I don’t know if that makes it weird, sad, quirky, or disappointing. I’m going to go with neat. Poor Roy.

  18. I love that you began with Atreyu and Sebastian…..

    Too bad neither of them got over-exposed in teen magazines.

  19. Darren Harris, now Darren Brady-Harris. I know him. I work with him. I see him every day. He looks more or less the same. Never acted again after high school. He hated it, I think. He doesn’t even like talking about it. I guess it could get old pretty fast. I suspect he made a decent amount of cash from those few films, though.

  20. “Here we are, turned all the way up to eleven. Tell me where that line comes from and I will give you 400 gorka gabbas. ” LOLOL. I find this ridiculously hilarious because for the last two years I’ve been trying to find out the secret identity of the individual who keeps scrawling “Spinal Tap” in the margins of fliers people tape up in my office building’s elevators. Bizarre connections for you? The character of Spinal Tap’s Nigel is played by Christopher Guest…who is married to Jaimie Lee Curtis…scream queen of Friday 13th, which I believe you have also touched on a few times.
    Keep up the good work.

  21. Good to see my former childhood crush in there: Jason Presson.
    I loved Ethan Hawke as a kid, but in The Explorers, Darren was the best character by far. Ben was so whiny and naive. I loved Jason desperately for about five months when I was twelve.
    Now I’m in my 30’s and my kid is into the movie, so I found myself googling Jason’s name after all these years. Thanks for doing the research for me 🙂 Cheers.

    • Once In A Blue Moon I Look Up The Old Self And See Some Stuff That Brings Smiles To My Face. Never Quite Understood The Fascination With The Movie And Show Business, But Do Have To Say That I Absolutely Love My Life Outside Of The Old Career And Smile At Least 50 Times A Day. Something I Didn’t Used To Do Auditioning All The Time. I Love My Privacy And Enjoy The Satisfaction Of Having Lived A Life That Few Even Know I’ve Experienced. Joe Dante Explained To Me One Time The Total Enjoyment He Got From Walking Down Hollywood Boulevard With No-One Recognizing Him And Still Knowng That He Could Have His Anonymity And Also Do What He Loved All Th While Walking By Movie Fans Who Would Never Know Who He Was. A Great Experience!

      JASON!!!

      • That is awesome Jason. You have always been one of my favorites and thanks to HBO showing The Explorers about 300 times a week back in 87, you will always be an icon. Glad you are doing well.

  22. Great article dude. Don’t go to many sites, but I see your a fellow X-Er and you have great content as well. Keep up the good work! 🙂

    • Thanks man! You officially have the coolest comment name. Good to get a visist from an X-Er.

  23. I have been searching for Rick Ducommun for a while, just wanting to send an old-fashioned fan letter. In my opinion, he’s one of the most deserving actors on earth to receive a fan letter. If you get the chance or find out where my boyfriend and I can mail him a fan letter, let me know!!! We both love his acting.

    • Me too, Lindsey! I know he is doing stage acting in Canada presently but not sure where.

      • Well, if anyone gives you a heads up, I’ll be anxiously awaiting the tip-off. Of course, if I find anything out, I’ll be sure to let you know too. It’s too bad he’s so hard to get in touch with…

        “but you know what I think that is, class? LAAAAAAAAME…”

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  28. Hey thanks for the fun, I am constantly looking up character actors to see where they are now, I am glad I am not alone. I found this page searching for Presson and am stoked to see a comment from him. I am fascinated with and why some actors go on to greatness and others to obscurity, or waiting tables, or back home with their parents. Thanks to you for the Carter Wong piece, i love BTLC, and always thought he looked familiar–you mentioned Bruce Lee and I knew it was Fu Shien from the the big boss(fists of fury). Great fun, keep it up…how about Dennis Dunn?

    • I found your site looking for Presson, too. Unbelievable to read his comment.Then I spent hous reading everything. Great stuff! All the best!

  29. Thanks for all your efforts.It is strange to see once famous people vanish from the public eye seemingly without reason.

  30. Thanx, it was a trip seeing what these actors/actress’ have been upto ^_^

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  33. This just in, Darren Harris (of 80’s John Hughes Geekdom fame) is working at Hal Riney Publicis in San Francisco. He just started. He’s an Ad guy.

  34. This blog is awesome! I also had crushes on Tiffany Brissette and Aubree Miller when I was a kid. I had kept both of these a secret until now.

  35. shit, this blog is fucking amazng. you deserve a medal or something. i may not come back.. but, damn this was the best read ive had in the last 15 years. peace dude.

  36. I am chilling at home watching Explorers with my four and nine year old and I was wondering why Ethan Hawke and River Phoenix went on to other films and Jason Presson is a name I never heard of. I stumbled across this post. I love it. As a movie buff I recognize just about every person mentioned. Very cool and very funny.

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